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information sharing should be confidential or free to all

information sharing should be confidential or free to all NlJP2
Information sharing is a controversial issue; it depends on its significance. Information is classified in two main terms, common information that is useful for public. On the other hand, confidential information is to be shared with concerned audience only, for the safety purpose. In terms of scientific research, business and academic world, information sharing varies according to the situation. Some people believe that information should be accessible by everyone. On the other hand, some reckon that it should be limited to related individuals. In this essay I shall analyze and shed ample light on both of the conflicting views of people, prior to forming a concrete opinion. First and foremost, for a number of reasons, a multitude of people opine that information shall not be shared freely. Firstly, businesses have their certain unique competitive edge, for instance many food companies do not share their secret ingredient or recipe. It helps them to save their product uniqueness and business. Secondly, scientific researches require plenty of capital and time to attain desired results and acquire patent rights. Such as, a pharmaceutical company invests a lot to make a specific medicine. So it holds a complete authority to keep information with them and get patent rights. Finally On the contrary, despite all positive aspects there are myriad of people who believe that information sharing is both vital and useful in general. To begin, taking in account to recent achievement of covid vaccination, scientist from different countries collectively shared their knowledge and developed a vaccine within short period of time. Moreover, scientific research and business information helps academic students to gain knowledge and enhance their skills. In conclusion, as observing both aspects I reckon that sharing of information is solely related to its sensitivity. In some areas it is advantageous for public, but on the other side it may cause distortion.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
is a controversial issue; it depends on its significance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
is classified
in two main terms, common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that is
useful for public.
On the other hand
, confidential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is to
be shared
with concerned audience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, for the safety purpose. In terms of scientific research,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and academic world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
varies according to the situation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be accessible by everyone.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reckon that it should
be limited
to related individuals. In this essay I shall analyze and shed ample light on both of the conflicting views of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, prior to forming a concrete opinion.

First
and foremost, for a number of reasons, a multitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
shall not
be shared
freely
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
have their certain unique competitive edge,
for instance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
do not share their secret ingredient or recipe. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to save their product uniqueness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
Secondly
, scientific researches require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of capital and time to attain desired results and acquire patent rights. Such as, a pharmaceutical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
invests a lot to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a specific medicine.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it holds a complete authority to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
patent rights.
Finally


On the contrary
, despite all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects there are myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
is both vital and useful
in general
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, taking in account to recent achievement of
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
vaccination, scientist from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
collectively
shared their knowledge and developed a vaccine within short period of time.
Moreover
, scientific research and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
academic students to gain knowledge and enhance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, as observing both aspects I reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
solely
related to its sensitivity. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas it is advantageous for public,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other side it may cause distortion.
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IELTS essay information sharing should be confidential or free to all

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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