Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Universities should be concerned with educating people so that they have wide general knowledge and be able to, consider important matters from an informed viewpoint, and not simply prepare students for jobs required by society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Universities should be concerned with educating people so that they have wide general knowledge and be able to, consider important matters from an informed viewpoint, and not simply prepare students for jobs required by society. v. 2
Nowadays people are distressed about the education system because the universities must not only instruct the necessary skills for employment, but they must enlighten the students with vital information. I agree with this opinion because with a great grasping power about a technology and work, the students can survive anywhere in this world. Firstly, being informative can help a person to reside in any part of the world, because proficiency benefits people. The universities and colleges must edify their graduates with the knowledge of the subject both theoretical and practical, so that they become expertise in that field. The reason for stressing on up skills is because the any person can gain job from reputed companies and corporations with their grades, but those who learn to understand the technology or topic with clear-cut can become successful in any industry. For example, a computer engineer will be able to code excellently to develop an application or a software. Secondly, with such guidance from lectures and professors must provide ample materials to their students, so that the interest to surf more details and acquire the understanding capability about a topic. Moreover, searching more data on different genres will be useful to the graduates in a long run. However, current organizations are expecting such type of knowledgeable undergraduates and postgraduates because they strongly believe that only these people can uplift their companies and businesses. For instance, many students in IIT or IIM are skilful in receiving an employment, but the employer’s perspective is that, only talented people who are masters in any subject or field can fulfil their job requirements. In conclusion, “Knowledge is divine” so a person who has a grip about information apart from only skills to excel in the job will become triumphant in their lives.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are distressed
about the education system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
instruct the necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for employment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
enlighten the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with vital information. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with a great grasping power about a technology and work, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can survive anywhere in this world.

Firstly
, being informative can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a person to reside in any part of the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
proficiency benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The universities and colleges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
edify their graduates with the knowledge of the subject both theoretical and practical,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they become expertise in that field. The reason for stressing on up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the any person can gain job from reputed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and corporations with their grades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
those who learn to understand the technology or topic with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
can become successful in any industry.
For example
, a computer engineer will be able to code
excellently
to develop an application or a software.

Secondly
, with such guidance from lectures and professors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide ample materials to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the interest to surf more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and acquire the understanding capability about a topic.
Moreover
, searching more data on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
genres will be useful to the graduates in a long run.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
organizations are expecting such type of knowledgeable undergraduates and postgraduates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can uplift their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and businesses.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in IIT or IIM are
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
in receiving an employment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the employer’s perspective is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are masters in any subject or field can fulfil their job requirements.

In conclusion
, “Knowledge is divine”
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
a person who has a grip about information apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to excel in the job will become triumphant in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Universities should be concerned with educating people so that they have wide general knowledge and be able to, consider important matters from an informed viewpoint, and not simply prepare students for jobs required by society. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts