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Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female study in every subject. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female study in every subject. v. 1
The acceptance of the universities, for each and every subject is debatable. The colleges should enrol equal number of the boys and the girls, when it comes to the selection of the candidates for the courses in their universities. This essay will discuss why there should be a fair count in the genders for every subject study in the college. Quite a lot of parents, prefer sending their son for further education rather than their daughters, as they feel that their son is more diligent and knowledgeable, when compared to their girl child. This is likely to happen due to the narrow-minded society, which feels that girls are not worth of studying so they start working from their early stage. They also feel by making their girl child study, they are wasting money, as in no way they will be an asset to their family, whereas they are going to serve the family in which they are going to stay after their marriage. As, an illustration, in China many parents tend to send their son for further education, but they restrict their girl to do all sorts of work, ranging from the household to earn money. Although, many parents feel that educating girl makes their money vanish, but there are plenty of sectors which are seeking for the female candidates. Many professional jobs require more female in contrast to the male, but the number of candidates are less when compared to males so, they are in a position to grab that opportunity. To support with a clear example, starting from the kindergarten to the high school the most preferred teachers based on gender are female, as they stand on top with a lot of patience and a good attitude. The male population cannot be seen till the middle school, and even in the high school their count is minimum, as they do not stand in a good ranking to the handle kids, until they are mature. Thus, the universities, should accept equal number of candidates from both the genders for their subjects. In conclusion, there should be equal number of graduates coming out of the universities, in terms of the gender. In many ways, the girls outshine the boys, so they must also be given good preference, as they are applicable to many positions, in which boys are not the best fit. However, there should not be any discrimination based on the gender.
The acceptance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, for each and every subject is debatable. The colleges should enrol equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of the boys and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the selection of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
for the courses in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. This essay will discuss why there should be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
count in the genders for every subject study in the college.

Quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
parents, prefer sending their son for
further
education
rather
than their daughters, as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that their son is more diligent and knowledgeable, when compared to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
child. This is likely to happen due to the narrow-minded society, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feels
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are not worth of studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working from their early stage. They
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
by making their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
child study, they are wasting money, as in no way they will be an asset to their family, whereas they are going to serve the family in which they are going to stay after their marriage. As, an illustration, in China
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their son for
further
education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they restrict their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
to do all sorts of work, ranging from the household to earn money.

Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their money vanish,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of sectors which are seeking for the female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
professional jobs require more female
in contrast
to the male,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
are less when compared to males
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they are in a position to grab that opportunity. To support with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example, starting from the kindergarten to the high school the most preferred teachers based on gender are female, as they stand on top with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
patience and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
attitude. The male population cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
till the middle school, and even in the high school their count is minimum, as they do not stand in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ranking to the handle kids, until they are mature.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, should accept equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
from both the genders for their subjects.

In conclusion
, there should be equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of graduates coming out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, in terms of the gender. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
outshine the boys,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
preference, as they are applicable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
positions, in which boys are not the best fit.
However
, there should not be any discrimination based on the gender.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female study in every subject. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
403 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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