Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. v.28

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. v. 28
In our modern world, the question whether universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject has been widely discussed. A fair portion of people believes that it is the universities responsibility to make the number even in every subject, while others hold the opposite point of the view. As for me, I agree with the latter one. Firstly, for some certain working positions, the male can do better than female. For example, it is obvious that there are more policemen than policewomen. Man can run faster, men are stronger and men can react to a dangerous situation more quickly. All of these points help a man become more suitable to be the police. In this case, universities should have more male students in learning how to become a well-trained policeman in future, rather than female students. Secondly, when it comes to the work of teaching in schools, especially primary schools, it is no doubt that men can’t do as good as women. It is children’s nature that they always prefer to be taught by female teachers. They treat their female teachers as their close friends, sometimes even their mothers. Normally, comparing to men, women are most likely to understand what are the children thinking and what they want next. For example, if a child accidentally hurts his thumb, his female teacher would hold him in her arms to comfort him. However, the male teacher may tell the child that it’s not a big deal. For the teaching subject, apparently, universities need to have more female students. In conclusion, it is not necessary that universities have to make the equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. Actually, the numbers of male and female in a class depend on different subjects.
In our modern world,
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "the question".
the question whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should accept equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
students in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
has been
widely
discussed. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
portion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believes that it is the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "universities'" or "university's"?
universities
responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
even in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, while others hold the opposite point of the view. As for me, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter one.

Firstly
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain working positions, the male can do better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
.
For example
, it is obvious that there are more policemen than policewomen.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Man
can run faster,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are stronger and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
can react to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situation more
quickly
. All of these points
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
become more suitable to be the police.
In this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should have more male students in learning how to become a well-trained policeman
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
,
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
students.

Secondly
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the work of teaching in schools,
especially
primary schools, it is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
can’t do as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as women. It is children’s nature that they always prefer to
be taught
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. They treat their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
as their close friends,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even their mothers.
Normally
, comparing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
, women are most likely to understand what are the children thinking and what they want
next
.
For example
, if a child
accidentally
hurts his thumb, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
would hold him in her arms to comfort him.
However
, the male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the child that it’s not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
deal. For the teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
,
apparently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
need to have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
students.

In conclusion
, it is not necessary that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
students in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. Actually, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
depend on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. v. 28

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts