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Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.23

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. v. 23
Gender equality is such a debating point these days, where people argue and demand for gender equality for every aspect, for such in work, in education and even in household. To some extent it is fair enough to demand such a thing since we live in a modern world where both men and women are capable in doing similar tasks. However, if we look at this argument which states that tertiary educational institutions should accept the same counts of students for female and male in every subject, there are questions if this is the right initiative in achieving gender equality. To begin with, I agree that universities should have a diversity in number of students. Back in the days, women are not encouraged to pursue education compared to men since men were seen to be the superior in a household. For example, it used to be a law in Pakistan that women were not allowed to study until Malala Yousafzai, who fought for the rights of female learning. In this modern world, it can be seen that there are more females engaging themselves in education. Hence, I believe accepting different genders gives a good opportunity. Nevertheless, accepting the equal number of men and women in every subject is a bit unnecessary. This is because not all men are capable in certain skills and vice versa. For instance, some men are fitter to enrol in Engineering course rather than Fashion. This also applies to women, where some are better at doing Law than handle Machinery-related course. In conclusion, I believe that expanding the university horizon with both females and males is a good step in making sure both get the same opportunity to learn and pursue their dreams, but when it comes to subjects, it depends on the individuals themselves. Everyone should have the right to choose whatever they want to.
Gender equality is such a debating point these days, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue and demand for gender equality for every aspect, for such in work, in education and even in household. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to demand such a thing since we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a modern world where both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are capable in doing similar tasks.
However
, if we look at this argument which states that tertiary educational institutions should accept the same counts of students for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
and male in every subject, there are questions if this is the right initiative in achieving gender equality.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that universities should have a diversity in number of students. Back in the days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not encouraged to pursue education compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to be the superior in a household.
For example
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a law in Pakistan that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to study until Malala Yousafzai, who fought for the rights of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
learning. In this modern world, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
engaging themselves in education.
Hence
, I believe accepting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
genders gives a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity.

Nevertheless
, accepting the equal number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in every subject is a bit unnecessary. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are capable in certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and vice versa.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are fitter to enrol in Engineering course
rather
than Fashion. This
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are better at doing Law than handle Machinery-related course.

In conclusion
, I believe that expanding the university horizon with both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
and males is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
step in making sure both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the same opportunity to learn and pursue their dreams,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to subjects, it depends on the individuals themselves. Everyone should have the right to choose whatever they want to.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. v. 23

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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