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Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.10

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. v. 10
Nowadays, education has become an egalitarian environment, in which everyone has the same rights and the same opportunities. Some argue that it should be maintained the equal of the genders in each lecture of universities. Personally, I totally disagree with this statement. It is clear to note that the same amounts of man and woman students have some advantages. Firstly, this action can be shown off an egalitarian society, in which everyone has the same careers and the same power. For example, the woman can study for civil engineering as well as the man. Secondly, the sustainability of the equal of the genders will improve the efficiency of the study. If the class has many male, for example, the woman who attends this class will feel uncomfortable. However, the situation does more harm than good. It can be explained by many reasons. Firstly, It is so difficult to maintain the class that has equal numbers of male and female. The especially lecture only for male, for example, building up or fixing the electric equipment, then it is not interesting with the female. Secondly, the student chooses the subjects that they are really interesting to study than follow the guidelines of the universities. That is the reason why the student feel uncomfortable if they will study the subject that they do not want to. In conclusion, equal numbers of male and female in the subjects of universities is a great idea. But in my opinion, it is so difficult to make it real.
Nowadays, education has become an egalitarian environment, in which everyone has the same rights and the same opportunities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that it should
be maintained
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
of the genders in each lecture of universities.
Personally
, I
totally
disagree with this statement.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to note that the same amounts of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and woman students have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages.
Firstly
, this action can
be shown
off an egalitarian society, in which everyone has the same careers and the same power.
For example
, the woman can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for civil engineering
as well
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
Secondly
, the sustainability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
of the genders will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the efficiency of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
male,
for example
, the woman who attends this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will feel uncomfortable.

However
, the situation does more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.
Firstly
, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
difficult to maintain the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
that has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
numbers of male and female. The
especially
lecture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for male,
for example
, building up or fixing the electric equipment, then it is not interesting with the female.
Secondly
, the student chooses the subjects that they are
The extreme adjective for interesting is "fascinating", or "exciting".
really interesting
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
than follow the guidelines of the universities.
That is
the reason why the student feel uncomfortable if they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
the subject that they do not want to.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
numbers of male and female in the subjects of universities is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my opinion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it real.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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