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Universities should accept equal number of male and female study in every subject. Do you agree or disagree.

In the recent years, there has been a drastic change in education system in my country. As a result of which some academic institutions has started accepting equal number of applications from male & female students. Earlier there was a mismatch between the ratio, but now it has been changed in most of the countries for betterment. I strongly agree with this statement. To embark on, most of the countries are now focusing on their education system and trying to create equal opportunities for both the genders. However in the past, it has been observed that in some of the families girls were not allowed to complete their higher studies from abroad, mainly because of the narrow thinking and differentiating between men & women. For e. g. In India, very few families support advance education for their girl child. As a result, literacy rate in India for male is almost twice than the female. Girls are forced to marry with men in their early age. Undoubtedly, everyone can contribute to the society irrespective of their gender and it can be in any of the areas. According to the recent survey conducted in North America, girls have the same ability as the boys. It is further mentioned that the female students are very sharp in academics throughout their course. Hence its clear that girls should not be discriminated and are given equal opportunities. For e. g. Kalpana Chawla, the first Indian woman to go on space. Moreover, there are some fields who are more suitable for woman candidates due to their characteristics. Thus the universities should accept equal number of male and female students in all the courses they provide. In conclusion, in order to promote equality between male & female, all the academic institutions should create balance between the two. As a result, our nation will continue to prosper and flourish in the coming decades, when we have equal opportunities for both. This should be started from the education as its the building block for everyone’s career.
In the recent years, there has been a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system in my country.
As a result
of which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
academic institutions
You should probably use "have", "haven".
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
number of applications from male &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
students. Earlier there was a mismatch between the ratio,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in most of the countries for betterment. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

To embark on, most of the countries are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
focusing on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system and trying to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
opportunities for both the genders.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in the past, it has
been observed
that in
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to complete their higher studies from abroad,
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the narrow thinking and differentiating between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
& women. For
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
In India,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few families support advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
child.
As a result
, literacy rate in India for male is almost
Use "(twice)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
twice
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Girls
are forced
to marry with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in their early age.

Undoubtedly
, everyone can contribute to the society irrespective of their gender and it can be in any of the areas. According to the recent survey conducted in North America,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
have the same ability as the boys. It is
further
mentioned that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
students are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sharp in academics throughout their course.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
should not
be discriminated
and are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
opportunities. For
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kalpana
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chawla
, the
first
Indian woman to go on space.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fields who are more suitable for woman candidates due to their characteristics.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the universities should accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
number of male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
students in all the courses they provide.

In conclusion
, in order to promote equality between male &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
, all the academic institutions should create balance between the two.
As a result
, our nation will continue to prosper and flourish in the coming decades, when we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
opportunities for both. This should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
the building block for everyone’s career.
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IELTS essay Universities should accept equal number of male and female study in every subject.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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