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Universities originally began as places where people could develop themselves and their mind, however, these days universities only provide training for people to do specific jobs.

Universities originally began as places where people could develop themselves and their mind, however, these days universities only provide training for people to do specific jobs. yPbWg
Over the past, many people are of the opinion that people can be develop thinking and themselves in the universities, whereas, these days it only practices people who do specific careers. I disagree to a certain extent, however, there is some issue to consider. In this essay, both views will be examined. There are some downsides of only people who do a specific career can access the university. To begin, the main one is limited of the chance to other people, due to the fact that the students who graduated secondary-school and doubt in their future that the university should be the place can suggest the future plan for these students. A further drawback is the unemployment is a higher rate because of this, the limit of chance for other people who pursue better life that they can find in academic knowledge in the university, as a result, lack of effective labor in the country. An increasing problem is the last drawback side of only people who have to do particular jobs. If people disappointment in a better life, it more chances to become a problem in society, such as drug addicts and criminals. There are many beneficial aspects of people who can enter the university for the purpose to develop themselves and their minds. The first and foremost important one is more opportunities in the future. the acknowledge essential for the occupation, although secondary school's knowledge proper for individual, it can be better to learning higher for more chance to high salary in that job. Not only more opportunities but also gains acknowledge should be taken into consideration. there are different levels of knowledge in academic school, due to the company where the employer has demanded of high knowledge employee for the company. therefore, the students pursue higher acknowledge. Reducing unemployment is a final benefit of expanding the chance to another learning the university. the students who graduated the university might have various abilities, the result of this, those abilities can option hunting the best job. Hence, it could reduce the unemployment rate. To conclude, even though there are a few detrimental aspects of I hold the view that beneficial ones outweigh them. If authorize people to focus on education for every people, there is more likelihood that it can more useful to individuals and the country.
Over the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be
Consider using the past participle "developed"?
develop
thinking and themselves in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, whereas, these days it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
practices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do specific careers. I disagree to a certain extent,
however
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issue to consider. In this essay, both views will
be examined
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do a specific career can access the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, the main one
is limited
of the chance to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, due to the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
graduated secondary-school and doubt in their future that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should be the place can suggest the future plan for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. A
further
drawback is the unemployment is a higher rate
because of this
, the limit of chance for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
pursue better life that they can find in academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
as a result
, lack of effective labor in the country. An increasing problem is the last drawback side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do particular jobs. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disappointment in a better life, it more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chances
to become a problem in society, such as drug addicts and criminals.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
beneficial aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can enter the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
for the purpose to develop themselves and their minds.

The
first
and foremost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one is more opportunities in the future.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
The word 'acknowledge' is not a noun. Did you mean "acknowledgment"?
acknowledge
essential for the occupation, although secondary school's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
proper for individual, it can be better to learning higher for more chance to high salary in that job.

Not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
more opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
gains acknowledge should
be taken
into consideration.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in academic school, due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
where the employer has demanded of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
employee for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
pursue higher acknowledge.

Reducing unemployment is a final benefit of expanding the chance to another learning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduated from".
graduated
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
might have various abilities, the result of this, those abilities can option hunting the best job.
Hence
, it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the unemployment rate.

To conclude
,
even though
there are a few detrimental aspects of

I hold the view that beneficial ones outweigh them. If authorize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to focus on education for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, there is more likelihood that it can more useful to individuals and the country.
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IELTS essay Universities originally began as places where people could develop themselves and their mind, however, these days universities only provide training for people to do specific jobs.

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
388 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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