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Nowadays weddings and birthdays are being spent a lot of money

Nowadays weddings and birthdays are being spent a lot of money yPbAg
In today's modern life, people spend money to weddings and birthdays more and more and buys a lot of prizes are very expensive. This essay will discuss following on more negative and useless wastes rather than positive. First of all, weddings and birthday parties are congratulated in different places in different ways. Every families have own customs and traditions and dreams and spend millions for parties is not necessary. In medium families commemorate their weddings in their homes or in own countries but now some humans are creating new cultures are very useless or we can say they are fool ideas. In the Central Asia, people's culture are not the same as Europe or US. Their outcomes to weddings are not much and they think and say it is not necessary to spend expenses and we need only good fortune and safety. Second of all, celebrating birthday parties in night clubs may ends with bad scenery. Adults drink alcoholic beverages first time when their 18 edges celebration and this kind of bevarages effect badly and in the result several crimes or make forces are happened. So parents must understand which is extravagant. There are another side of the coin, each dreams may be happen in weddings or birthdays. This happiness are must celebrated in home and with parents. And then humans will far from deceases and accidents. In conclusion that, people must not spend millions to parties therefore they lose their happiness. Instead of people waste their wealth to education, personal business, books or courses.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern life,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
and birthdays more and more and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
prizes are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive. This essay will discuss following on more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and useless wastes
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
and birthday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
are congratulated
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular. Did you mean "all"?
Every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "family"?
families
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
customs and traditions and dreams and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
millions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
is not necessary. In medium families commemorate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
in their homes or in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
humans are creating new cultures are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
useless or
we can say they are fool
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. In the Central Asia,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's culture are not the same as Europe or US. Their outcomes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
are not
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
much and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and say it is not necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
expenses and
we need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
fortune and safety. Second of all, celebrating birthday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
in night clubs may ends with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
scenery. Adults drink alcoholic beverages
first
time when their 18 edges celebration and this kind of
Possible spelling mistake found.
bevarages
effect
badly
and in the result several crimes or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
forces
are happened
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
understand which is extravagant. There are another side of the coin, each dreams may be
Consider using the past participle "happened"?
happen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
or birthdays.
The verb 'are' is plural. Did you mean: "This happiness is"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This happiness are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Did you mean "have celebrated" or "celebrate"?
celebrated
in home and with parents. And then humans will far from deceases and accidents.
In conclusion
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
millions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
therefore
they lose their happiness.
Instead
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
waste their wealth to education, personal business, books or courses.
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IELTS essay Nowadays weddings and birthdays are being spent a lot of money

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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