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purpose of watching TV either for entertainment or for educational

purpose of watching TV either for entertainment or for educational YB3qr
When there is topic on purpose for watching television, there are dual opinion. Some groups of people say that news program is for entertainment, while other says it is for spreading educational and informative. if asked then will review both the views and then give my opinion in the ensuing paragraph. Considering the former views, that the news programs is for enjoyment purpose. The primary reason is that watching TV is the best recreational activity. To be specific, it is known that there are various types of programs that are broadcast such as music, movies or comedy shows. For instance, when people come home after completing their exhaustive work " they are intend to watch funny and madness TV program in order to relive stress, tension and feels relax. On the other hand, people who support the latter view think that news program should be educative. I believe that informative programs are essential. Most of children are watching TV all day long, TV program with the positive and enthusiastic message will have great impact on teenagers. Thus they can develop positive mind and good personality. Moreover, students can wider their educational knowledge by watching shows like discovery channel, historic and cultural program. All in all, it is eventually concluded that both are equally important. Watching comedy shows, movies will help to fresh up from the hectic modern life while tv program like discovery channel and all will expand knowledge in children.
When there is topic on purpose for watching television, there are dual opinion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
is for entertainment, while other says it is for spreading educational and informative.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
asked then will review both the views and then give my opinion in the ensuing paragraph.

Considering the former views, that the news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
is for enjoyment purpose. The primary reason is that watching TV is the best recreational activity. To be specific, it
is known
that there are various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
that are broadcast such as music, movies or comedy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
.
For instance
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home after completing their exhaustive work
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
they are
Consider using a past participle here: "intended".
intend
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
and madness TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
in order to relive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, tension and feels relax.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who support the latter view
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
should be educative. I believe that informative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are essential.
After 'Most of', you should use 'the' ("Most of the children") or simply say "Most children".
Most of children
are watching TV all day long, TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and enthusiastic message will have great impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
they can develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
mind and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
personality.
Moreover
, students can wider their educational knowledge by watching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
like discovery channel, historic and cultural program.

All in all, it is
eventually
concluded that both are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Watching comedy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, movies will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to fresh up from the hectic modern life while
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
like discovery channel and all will expand knowledge in children.
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IELTS essay purpose of watching TV either for entertainment or for educational

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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