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unforgettable in your life

unforgettable in your life 0lqj1
I am 16 years old now, but I will never forget that day, OMG! ! ! that fateful Saturday. I was in 5th grade then and was only 9 years old. And events occurred on that day it made me unforgettable. It was a beautiful spring day, clear blue, fresh air… It wouldn't be memorable if that day was as ordinary as any other. However, that day, I still remember that day was the morning of the 30th of Tet, January 30, 2014. Earlier, in the afternoon 29 January 2014. My friends and neighbors have asked their parents to go out, after the consent of them, we were extremely excited, and then we planned to go out together, because almost all of my friends have to return to one’s homeland after the 30th. That night I was very excited, looking forward to tomorrow. And that day also came, that morning me and my friends biked together at the house of Minh's friend, one of our group. Everyone remembers to bring the most important thing that is “money”. We went to have breakfast together… and couldn't wait any longer, after having breakfast we immediately cycled to “Phu Lam Park”, where we would have fun, eat and drink… We went there at 9 o 'clock. During that day we played a lot of fun games together, such as fishing, throwing balls, and a very interesting game that was the electric car game crash, but I think the game that left the worst impression on us was the roller coaster ride (the train goes slowly, then suddenly speeds up, then it went back and forth) almost all of us were very dizzy after playing that game…. After a fun day out, we left at 11: 30. The worst of that day is about to come, we ride while fun out of, and I think that made us lose focus. “ Speak of the devil”. I was almost home when suddenly an old man (I guess he was also about 45 years old at that time), he ran at a very high speed from the alley and somehow my group also passed by at the same time and finally he alone crashed his car into us, but fortunately we just fell down and was bleeding… at that time we felt very scared but luckily after hitting us he quickly picked us up and asked us how. At that time, I looked at his face, perhaps he very surprised, and did not understand what happened because he was very drunk at that time … “ It’s not a rocket science”. Then we quickly got up to thank him, and quickly rode our bicycles to return to home with extremely painful wounds… On the way back we were all very afraid of being yelled at by our parents. But contrary to our thoughts, when we got home, our parents were very worried and didn't understand what happened to us… then we explained everything and everyone took alcohol to disinfect it wound and then put a personal bandage on. At that time, our mood was much better, we said goodbye to each other and returned home. After that incident, I learned that I should not laugh while traveling on the road, and especially to keep a cool head in front of drunken uncles. But even so, I still think the person who hit us with the car was a good person. Because after touching us he was extremely worried, took care of us, and I think it was an unexpected event.
I am 16 years
old
now
,
but
I will never forget that day, OMG! ! !
that
fateful Saturday. I was in 5th grade then and was
only
9 years
old
. And
events
occurred on that day it made me unforgettable. It was a
beautiful
spring day,
clear
blue, fresh air… It wouldn't be memorable if that day was as ordinary as any other.
However
, that day, I
still
remember that day was the morning of the 30th of Tet, January 30, 2014. Earlier, in the afternoon 29 January 2014. My
friends
and neighbors have asked their parents to go out, after the consent of them, we were
extremely
excited, and then we planned to go out together,
because
almost all of my
friends
have to
return to one’s homeland after the 30th. That night I was
very
excited, looking forward to tomorrow. And that day
also
came, that morning me and my
friends
biked together at the
house
of
Minh
's
friend
, one of our group. Everyone remembers to bring the most
important
thing
that is
“money”. We went to have breakfast together… and couldn't wait any longer, after having breakfast we immediately cycled to “
Phu
Lam Park”, where we would have
fun
, eat and drink… We went there at 9 o 'clock. During that day we played
a lot of
fun
games
together, such as fishing, throwing balls, and a
very
interesting game that was the electric car game crash,
but
I
think
the game that
left
the worst impression on us was the roller coaster ride (the train goes
slowly
, then
suddenly
speeds up
, then it went back and forth) almost all of us were
very
dizzy after playing that game…. After a
fun
day out, we
left
at 11: 30. The worst of that day is about to
come
, we ride while
fun
out of, and I
think
that made us lose focus. “ Speak of the devil”. I was almost home when
suddenly
an
old
man
(I guess he was
also
about 45 years
old
at that
time)
, he ran at a
very
high speed from the alley and somehow my group
also
passed by at the same
time
and
finally
he alone crashed his car into us,
but
fortunately
we
just
fell down and was bleeding… at that
time
we felt
very
scared
but
luckily after hitting us he
quickly
picked us up and asked us how. At that
time
, I looked at his face, perhaps he
very
surprised, and did not understand what happened
because
he was
very
drunk at that
time
… “ It’s not a rocket science”. Then we
quickly
got
up to thank him, and
quickly
rode our bicycles to return to home with
extremely
painful wounds… On the way back we were all
very
afraid of
being yelled
at by our parents.
But
contrary to our thoughts, when we
got
home, our parents were
very
worried and didn't understand what happened to us… then we
explained
everything and everyone took alcohol to disinfect it wound and then put a personal bandage on. At that
time
, our mood was much better, we said goodbye to each other and returned home. After that incident, I learned that I should not laugh while traveling on the road, and
especially
to
keep
a cool head in front of drunken uncles.
But
even
so
, I
still
think
the person who hit us with the car was a
good
person.
Because
after touching us he was
extremely
worried, took care of us, and I
think
it was an unexpected
event
.
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IELTS essay unforgettable in your life

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
594 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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