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unemployment with highly qualification graduates

unemployment with highly qualification graduates XVPrE
Unemployment is a major issue nowadays which is usually caused by factors such as low educational qualification, lack of job opportunities. Strangely enough, there are, however, some countries with high number of the unemployed with highly qualified graduates. The causations of this baffling situation might be many, but the two main prominent factors among them are political unrest and qualification mismatch. First of all, it is vital that a country have stable politics in order to have a competitive economy where many people can enjoy higher chances or opportunities of employment. Gaza, for example, has very high educational rate with almost 99% literacy rate with many many with tertiary education completion. However, as we all know, Gaza's access to the world has been blocked and severely restricted with blockades which created extreme difficulties for those educated people to tap into the potential, thereby soaring unemployment rate. The only solution to solve this problem is to restore political stability and maintain a long term peace, which in turn can lead to more foreign investments, lesser sanctions, and higher opportunities. Another interesting contributor for being the highly educated unemployed is qualification mismatch, in other words, the qualification has become either outdated or obsolete and does not match with the qualification that in demand in the market. In fact, this problem is easier to tackle than the previous causation. In order to reduce this problem, the government can introduce professional courses and trainings for people who are in need of skillset upgrades. By doing so, they will be again equipped with the required skills and qualifications, whereby they can find proper jobs. To conclude, while it is undeniable that unemployment is a pressing issue for many countries, those countries with a high number of unemployment with well-educated people should tackle to solve the causations of the problem. If not, it will be a huge waste of precious talents.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Unemployment
is a major issue nowadays which is
usually
caused by factors such as low educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
, lack of job opportunities.
Strangely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, there are,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with high number of the unemployed with
highly
qualified graduates. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
causations
of this baffling situation might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the two main prominent factors among them are political unrest and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
mismatch.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is vital that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have stable politics in order to have a competitive economy where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy higher chances or opportunities of employment. Gaza,
for example
, has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high educational rate with almost 99% literacy rate with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
with tertiary education completion.
However
, as we all know, Gaza's access to the world has
been blocked
and
severely
restricted with blockades which created extreme difficulties for those educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to tap into the potential, thereby soaring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
rate. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is to restore political stability and maintain a long term peace, which in turn can lead to more foreign investments, lesser sanctions, and higher opportunities.

Another interesting contributor for being the
highly
educated unemployed is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
mismatch,
in other words
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
has become either outdated or obsolete and does not match with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
that in demand in the market. In fact, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is easier to tackle than the previous causation. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can introduce professional courses and trainings for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are in need of
Possible spelling mistake found.
skillset
upgrades. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they will be again equipped with the required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
, whereby they can find proper jobs.

To conclude
, while it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
is a pressing issue for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with a high number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
with well-educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should tackle to solve the
Possible spelling mistake found.
causations
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. If not, it will be a huge waste of precious talents.
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IELTS essay unemployment with highly qualification graduates

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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