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Tell me about a time you overcame a significant challenge at work.

Tell me about a time you overcame a significant challenge at work. KWok3
In my university, swimming is a compulsory physical subject and almost all students must pass this subject. Therefore, I decided to learn swimming when I was a second year student. That time was a difficult period for me because I have never swam before. At every lesson, we did warm up exercise related to fitness lesson that was overwhelmed slightly with me. Besides, I could not perform water surfing in right way even if my classmates can do it well. In addition, because my process is slower than other people, my teacher asked me went outside and practiced by myself in class time. In order to overcome my fearful about swimming, my friend and I spend 2 sections every week which practice in an outside swimming pool. Also, in a pool, there are different depths and I cannot swim at 1metre 8 depth because of scaring. So I practiced more and more times likewise I worked out 3 session per week to increase my endurance. Finally, I overcame my fearful and passed swimming subject rely on my effort
In my university, swimming is a compulsory physical subject and almost all students
must
pass this subject.
Therefore
, I decided to learn
swimming
when I was a second year student. That time was a difficult period for me
because
I have never
swam
before
. At every lesson, we did warm up exercise related to fitness lesson that
was overwhelmed
slightly
with me.
Besides
, I could not perform water surfing in right way even if my classmates can do it well.
In addition
,
because
my process is slower than other
people
, my teacher asked me went outside and practiced by myself in
class
time. In order to overcome my fearful about swimming, my friend and I spend 2 sections every week which practice in an outside swimming pool.
Also
, in a pool, there are
different
depths and I cannot swim at 1metre 8 depth
because
of scaring.
So
I practiced more and more times
likewise
I worked out 3
session
per week to increase my endurance.
Finally
, I overcame my fearful and passed swimming subject rely on my effort
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IELTS essay Tell me about a time you overcame a significant challenge at work.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
177 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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