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Unemployment of students after graduation

Unemployment of students after graduation LLkqR
As you all know, Nowday’s unemployment is increasing, especially students. It has become a concern for the whole country and Do you know why were they unemployment? I’m sure that you still have little information about this. So, let’s me start with some general information on the real situation of umemployment of student after graduation. First off all, In 2020, nearly 70% of students worried about job problems after graduation. It is the number surveyed by General Statistics Office of Vietnam. Now, about 900. 000 students graduate without any job, especially in mountainous and rural areas, which accouting for about 30% of the national labor force. Those numbers reflect a bad situation in the job search of students. Everything happens for a reason, so does the unemployment of students. And now, we come to the next point which is the causes of unemployment of students. Let’s begin with the causes come from society and companies. You know, overpopulation lead to the supply of labor is more than the demand for recruitment. This has had huge impact on the recruitment process of each company. The increasing population of working age makes the competion among students who just graduate and increasingly fierce. Moreover, No uniformity in human resources among professions such as: we have too many teachers or accountants…meanwhile there are very few doctors and architects. Otherwise, currently many companies are too focus on appearance. This is so disadvantageous for students who don’t have good looks or don’t have opportunity to improve themselves. Let’s move on to the causes come from students that I think they are main reasons lead to unemloyment of students. The fisrt thing is student lack of soft skills after graduation such as communication, leadership, teamwork or time management skills. Futhermore, they don’t have English and Informatics Certificate or at a low level of them. In International Economic Integration with The Industrial Revolution 4. 0, they become indispensable things to apply for a job. Another point is they lack of experiences in writing CV, so it’s not invested resulting to dissastisfaction of employer. In addition, thay also too haughty when have a university degree. They are always confident to apply for jobs with only a degree. That is a big mistake in their mind.
As you all know,
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Nowday
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
is increasing,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It has become a concern for the whole country and Do you know why were they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
? I’m sure that you
still
have
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little
information about this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Did you mean "lets" or "let" (let's = let us; lets = 3rd person singular of 'let')?
let’s
me
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start
with
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some
general information on the real situation of
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umemployment
of
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student
after graduation.

First
off all, In 2020,
nearly
70% of
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students
worried about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
problems after graduation. It is the number surveyed by General Statistics Office of Vietnam.
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Now
, about 900. 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
graduate without any
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job
,
especially
in mountainous and rural areas, which
Possible spelling mistake found.
accouting
for about 30% of the national labor force. Those numbers reflect a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
search of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Everything happens for a reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
does the
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unemployment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the
next
point which is the causes of
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unemployment
of students.

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Let
’s
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begin
with the causes
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come
from society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. You know, overpopulation lead to the supply of labor is more than the demand for recruitment. This has had huge impact on the recruitment process of each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. The increasing population of working age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
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competion
among
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students
who
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just
graduate and
increasingly
fierce.
Moreover
, No uniformity in human resources among professions such as: we have too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
teachers or accountants…meanwhile there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few doctors and architects.
Otherwise
,
currently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are
Did you mean "to focus"?
too focus
on appearance. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
disadvantageous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who don’t have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
looks or don’t have opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
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move
on to the causes
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come
from
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students
that I
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think
they are main reasons lead to
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unemloyment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The
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fisrt
thing is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
lack of soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
after graduation such as communication, leadership, teamwork or time management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, they don’t have English and Informatics Certificate or at a low level of them. In International Economic Integration with The Industrial Revolution 4. 0, they become indispensable things to apply for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Another point is they lack of experiences in writing CV,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it’s not invested resulting to
Possible spelling mistake found.
dissastisfaction
of employer.
In addition
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thay
also
too haughty when have a university degree. They are always confident to apply for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a degree.
That is
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
mistake in their mind.
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IELTS essay Unemployment of students after graduation

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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