Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Unemployment is getting increasingly serious in many countries. Some people think students only need to get primary education, while others think that secondary education is necessary. What's your opinion ?

Unemployment is getting increasingly serious in many countries. Some people think students only need to get primary education, while others think that secondary education is necessary. What's your opinion? E3ldD
Joblessness is growing on a very fast pace in many parts of the world. There are people who reckon that only getting primary education is sufficient, whereas, others opine that the higher education is Paramount. In my opinion, I believe that higher academic qualification is very important in order to get employed. To embark on, primary education creates the educational base of the students. Getting a high-school degree is considered as sufficient in order to get various jobs. For instance, people interested in becoming artist can follow their passion after completing the primary lever of education. Moreover, jobs like mechanic and drivers do not require higher level degree. On the contrary, getting a secondary education makes people suitable for plethora of jobs. Students become eligible for multitude of organizations because many job requirements include a higher education degree. For instance, jobs like clerks require people to attend a secondary school for getting high salaries. Furthermore, while getting higher education students grow mentally as they are kept in a sophisticated environment for enhancing their cognitive skills. In addition, if one steps into the job market having only high school diploma, he might get a job but it would remain same for many years. On the same time person having an academic qualification has more chances of getting a good job with high salary as compared to the one with primary education. To conclude, albeit primary education may help people to get employed in certain organizations, secondary education provides more benefits like high wages. Therefore, I believe one should go for pursuing higher education before they start working.
Joblessness is growing on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who reckon that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is sufficient, whereas, others opine that the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is Paramount. In my opinion, I believe that higher academic qualification is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employed.

To embark on,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
creates the educational base of the students. Getting a high-school degree
is considered
as sufficient in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interested in becoming artist can follow their passion after completing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
lever of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
like mechanic and drivers do not require higher level degree.

On the contrary
, getting a secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suitable for plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Students become eligible for multitude of organizations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
requirements include a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
degree.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
like clerks require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to attend a secondary school for getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salaries.
Furthermore
, while getting higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
students grow mentally as they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in a sophisticated environment for enhancing their cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In addition
, if one steps into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
school diploma, he might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it would remain same for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years. On the same time person having an academic qualification has more chances of getting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary as compared to the one with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
education.

To conclude
, albeit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employed in certain organizations, secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
provides more benefits like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wages.
Therefore
, I believe one should go for pursuing higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Unemployment is getting increasingly serious in many countries. Some people think students only need to get primary education, while others think that secondary education is necessary. What's your opinion?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts