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prevention is better than treatment

prevention is better than treatment YLBdr
Nowadays, a fairly large number of people are obsessed with obesity which is a medical condition that increases your risk of other diseases, while it is logical that people diagnosed with an illness pay a large sum of money for treatment. Therefore I believe Prevention activity is better than research, remedy, and treatment. However, there is always a need for research and the invention of new methods. On the one hand, promoting health awareness will allow people to take precautions seriously. for example its is undeniable that doing a certain activity will aid the body to stay away from major health issues, in other words, activities such as exercise and meditation will strengthen the heart. As a result, activity helps to lower the risk of heart disease such as blood pressure. Furthermore, these activities will not only make the body maintain its health but also those people who are involved in an activity feel even more energetic. Alongside people government also would be able to encourage residents to add physical activity into their daily routine life. Therefore governments will be able to reduce the rate of illness and the risk of disease contamination. on the other hand, in the modern era, people waste the majority of their time on social media or would not be able to afford the time to get their hands on any healthy food, in other words, due to lack of time people prefer fast foods over healthy food, also it should mention that fast food products are way cheaper than a portion of healthy food. in conclusion: I totally agree with the statement and I believe prevention is better than cure, nevertheless, the government should always invest funds in research for the right moment.
Nowadays, a
fairly
large number of
people
are obsessed
with obesity which is a medical condition that increases your
risk
of
other
diseases, while it is logical that
people
diagnosed with an illness pay a large sum of money for treatment.
Therefore
I believe Prevention
activity
is better than research, remedy, and treatment.
However
, there is always a need for research and the invention of new methods.

On the one hand, promoting health awareness will
allow
people
to take precautions
seriously
.
for
example its is undeniable that doing a certain
activity
will aid the body to stay away from major health issues, in
other
words,
activities
such as exercise and meditation will strengthen the heart.
As a result
,
activity
helps
to lower the
risk
of heart disease such as blood pressure.
Furthermore
, these
activities
will not
only
make
the body maintain its health
but
also
those
people
who
are involved
in an
activity
feel even more energetic. Alongside
people
government
also
would be able to encourage residents to
add
physical
activity
into their daily routine life.
Therefore
governments
will be able to
reduce
the rate of illness and the
risk
of disease contamination.

on
the
other
hand, in the modern era,
people
waste the majority of their time on social media or would not be able to afford the time to
get
their hands on any healthy
food
, in
other
words, due to lack of time
people
prefer
fast
foods
over healthy
food
,
also
it should mention that
fast
food
products are way cheaper than a portion of healthy food.

in
conclusion: I
totally
agree
with the statement and I believe prevention is better than cure,
nevertheless
, the
government
should always invest funds in research for the right moment.
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IELTS essay prevention is better than treatment

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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