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Unemployment causes many problems in society. Governments should provide jobs and income for everyone. To what extent do you agree?

Unemployment causes many problems in society. Governments should provide jobs and income for everyone. J7Ke
How scientist said population are growing. In the earth there are 7. 9 billion people. Where is a lot of people there and a lot of unemployment. From the Bureau of Labor Statistics there are 12. 6 million unemployment. What can do to goverment to solve this problem. Who have to do to solve this problem? Firstly, I want to say that basic problem of unemployment it is overpopulation. However, we can not stop impoving overpopulation so I want to say about frictional unemployment. Frictional unemployment arise from unemployments who is searching work a lot of time. Be in short they are losing time to search. Secondly, who is guilty? Better find who will take responsibility of this problem. You can say every people should search and find work by yourself, nobody do not have to take responsbility. Nevertheless we can kill two birds with one stone Thirdly, decision of this problem is open the company what will search work for unemployments. These companies will work with another companies and search job. For example, television actress is searching visagiste then she will address to our company and after this we will search visagiste. So we find work for one person, like this we can decrease number of unemployment and find workers who need. Unemployments who will have found work will pay to company and our workers who worked on searching will work for a salary. In conclusion To solve the problem of unemployment we have to find problems and main causes.
How scientist said population are growing. In the earth there are 7. 9 billion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Where is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
there and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
. From the Bureau of Labor Statistics there are 12. 6 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
. What can do to
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Who
Did you mean "has"?
have
to do to solve this problem?

Firstly
, I want to say that basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
it is overpopulation.
However
, we can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
Possible spelling mistake found.
impoving
overpopulation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I want to say about frictional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
. Frictional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
arise from
Possible spelling mistake found.
unemployments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "am", "are", "aren"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'unemployments' should be used.
is
searching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time. Be in short they are losing time to search.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is guilty? Better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
will take responsibility of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. You can say every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
search
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by yourself, nobody
The pronoun 'nobody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "does", "did".
do
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsbility
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Nevertheless
we can kill two birds with one
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
stone


Thirdly
, decision of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is open the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
what will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
search
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
unemployments
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
search
job.
For example
, television actress is searching
Possible spelling mistake found.
visagiste
then she will address to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and after this we will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
search
Possible spelling mistake found.
visagiste
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for one person, like this we can decrease number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
need.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Unemployments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
will have found
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will pay to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and our workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
worked on searching will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a salary.

In conclusion
To solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and main causes.
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IELTS essay Unemployment causes many problems in society. Governments should provide jobs and income for everyone.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
251 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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