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Unemployment among qualified graduate

Unemployment among qualified graduate VQq5K
Unemployment among qualified graduate is a common issue in many countries around the world. One of the reason is that the supply of graduates might not be responding to the country's economy need. Some courses offered by the uniersity might no longer be relevant with the current industry. Hence, in my opinion higher education institute should be current by providing new programs that will feed current and future need of the industry. Another factor is the graduate's attitude towards employment. Some fresh graduate has high expectation in their future caree which in reality is not as what they hope for. They expect a very high salary and good benefits from whichever jobs they are applying. Hence, whenever they land a new job, they will be highly disappointed and quit after a short term of emplyment. Therefore, in I personally think that the education sector should prepare these graduate on the reality and practicality of working environment. Maybe what is needed is a short program or training before graduation. Moreover, government should also look into the enforcement of standard salary espeacially for these fresh graduate. Since sometime they are other factors that effected these issue such as exploitation by the companies by offering very low salary and even given minimal benefits.
Unemployment among qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
is a common issue in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries around the world.

One of the reason is that the supply of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
might not be responding to the country's economy need.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
courses offered by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
uniersity
might no longer be relevant with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
industry.
Hence
, in my opinion higher education institute should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
by providing new programs that will feed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
and future need of the industry.

Another factor is the graduate's attitude towards employment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
has high expectation in their future
Possible spelling mistake found.
caree
which in reality is not as what they hope for. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high salary and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
benefits from whichever jobs they are applying.
Hence
, whenever they land a new job, they will be
highly
disappointed and quit after a short term of
Possible spelling mistake found.
emplyment
.
Therefore
, in I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the education sector should prepare these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
on the reality and practicality of working environment. Maybe what
is needed
is a short program or training
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
graduation.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
look into the enforcement of standard salary
Possible spelling mistake found.
espeacially
for these fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
. Since sometime they are other factors that effected these issue such as exploitation by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
by offering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low salary and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
minimal benefits.
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IELTS essay Unemployment among qualified graduate

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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