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determine the advantages or disadvantages of video games

determine the advantages or disadvantages of video games pJGn0
Considering technology is rapidly changing the lives of the people around the world, we may expect the change in the upbringing of children as repurciousion. Web based culture provides both positive and negative impact in the nourishment of childen. This essay will examine the effects of playing online games in detail. To iniate with, the access to computer by children, is considered both boon and bane. while E-learning has Provided access to vast information and knowledge, video games, on the other hand, have been the area of concern for most of the parents. video games consume a lot of time of the children for unproductive outcomes. Continuous playing games massively increased and Sedentary lifestyle results in cultivating unhealthy habits. Gaining weight, subsequently is a consequence of lack physical exercise in the kids. Also, in an experiment performed by Washington Universty, disrupted sleep cycle has been noticed in children who are moduled to playing video games all day long. Moreover, kids who play video games tend to have low energy. On the contrary, recently studies has shown, an increase in the cognitive thinking of the kids who play, certain kind of games. Additionally, children are exposed to different challenges in the games plays a vital role in the development of the personality. It is also believed that, children who play a lot of video games peruse life with different perspective. In conclusion, its clear that, demerits of playing video games out weights the merits. While, the video games are not appreciated by the majority of the masses, it is conditioned for seldom use in favorable situation.
Considering technology is
rapidly
changing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world, we may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the upbringing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
repurciousion
. Web based culture provides both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact in the nourishment of
Possible spelling mistake found.
childen
. This essay will examine the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in detail.

To
Possible spelling mistake found.
iniate
with, the access to computer by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
is considered
both boon and bane.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
E-learning has Provided access to vast information and knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
on the other hand
, have been the area of concern for most of the parents.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for unproductive outcomes. Continuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
massively
increased and Sedentary lifestyle results in cultivating unhealthy habits. Gaining weight,
subsequently
is a consequence of lack physical exercise in the kids.
Also
, in an experiment performed by Washington
Possible spelling mistake found.
Universty
, disrupted sleep cycle has
been noticed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
moduled
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
all day long.
Moreover
, kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
tend to have low energy.

On the contrary
, recently studies has shown, an increase in the cognitive thinking of the kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
, certain kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are exposed
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
challenges in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
a vital role in the development of the personality. It is
also
believed that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
peruse life with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective.

In conclusion
, its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, demerits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
out weights the merits. While, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are not appreciated by the majority of the masses, it
is conditioned
for seldom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in favorable situation.
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IELTS essay determine the advantages or disadvantages of video games

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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