Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Undoubtedly human personality makes in childhood. Hence, it is rational that parents worry about

Undoubtedly human personality makes in childhood. Hence, it is rational that parents worry about 2aKWJ
Undoubtedly human personality makes in childhood. Hence, it is rational that parents worry about their offspring’s cultivation. A controversial question that has been aroused the attention of society is whether children should watch video games or play with their toys? In response to the question, opinions are various from one person to another one. However, I think that playing with friends is better than the first option. I will elaborate on my reasons in the following paragraphs. To begin with, playing with friends helps children to keep mental and physical health, it means that when playing. the pressure of peers leads kids to be more active in-game and to start running, jumping etc. having abundant physical activities are necessary to bum extra fats and boost various parts of their body and improve their immune system. To be more specific, this matter is extremely vital for children due to the fact childhood is a sensitive stage of life where not only creates their personality on the contrary the growth of their body parts is also intensively dependent on how much to be active in the first years of people Life. In this period, doing sports, allows them to consume more energy and increase their metabolism. On the contrary computer games encourage kids to play more and more to the extent to reach the next higher level of video games. Under this circumstance, they spend a number of time in front of TVs or screens for the long term without physical movement that is extremely harmful to their well-being and it might lead to serious diseases such as obesity and optic problems. Besides after mentioned, personal and interpersonal development is a main reason why real games are better. In this kind of game, children learn to have collective performance. In this process, they learn how to share own toys with other individuals and how to ask other people, in addition, they easily express their idea and respect friend’ ones. It is a dispensable fact that socializing is a necessary ability in the modern era. due to the fact of having a competitive edge and making children more employable. While most fiction games have criminal and immoral contents that Encourage children to behave aggressively Put in brief, playing the game has a great role in children's future life. hence, it is better to select the real game in light of the fact that it leads to cultivating interpersonal development and keeping physical and mental health.
Undoubtedly
human personality
makes
in childhood.
Hence
, it is rational that parents worry about their offspring’s cultivation. A controversial question that has
been aroused
the attention of society is whether
children
should
watch
video
games
or play with their toys? In response to the question, opinions are various from one person to another one.
However
, I
think
that
playing
with friends is better than the
first
option. I will elaborate on my reasons in the following paragraphs.

To
begin
with,
playing
with friends
helps
children
to
keep
mental and
physical
health, it means that when
playing
.
the
pressure of peers leads kids to be more active in-game and to
start
running, jumping etc. having abundant
physical
activities are necessary to bum extra fats and boost various parts of their body and
improve
their immune system. To be more specific, this matter is
extremely
vital for
children
due to the
fact
childhood is a sensitive stage of life where not
only
creates their personality
on the contrary
the growth of their body parts is
also
intensively
dependent on how much to be active in the
first
years of
people
Life. In this period, doing sports,
allows
them to consume more energy and increase their metabolism.
On the contrary
computer
games
encourage kids to play more and more to the extent to reach the
next
higher level of video
games
. Under this circumstance, they spend a number of time in front of TVs or screens for the long term without
physical
movement
that is
extremely
harmful to their well-being and it might lead to serious diseases such as obesity and optic problems.

Besides
after mentioned, personal and interpersonal development is a main reason why real
games
are better. In this kind of game,
children
learn to have collective performance. In this process, they learn how to share
own
toys with other individuals and how to ask other
people
,
in addition
, they
easily
express their
idea
and respect friend’ ones. It is a dispensable
fact
that socializing is a necessary ability in the modern era.
due
to the
fact
of having a competitive edge and making
children
more employable. While most fiction
games
have criminal and immoral contents that Encourage
children
to behave
aggressively


Put
in brief
,
playing
the game has a great role in children's future life.
hence
, it is better to select the real game in light of the
fact
that it leads to cultivating interpersonal development and keeping
physical
and mental health.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Undoubtedly human personality makes in childhood. Hence, it is rational that parents worry about

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
412 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts