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Racism and its inevitable consequence, is discrimination, create huge problems among people.

Racism and its inevitable consequence, is discrimination, create huge problems among people. m9Xen
Racism and its inevitable consequence, is discrimination, create huge problems among people. Due to these problems, people have been exposed to racial discrimination over the years, which prevents individuals from living in peace. Thus, racism and it’s reasons should be considered. Unfortunately, racism is such an intricate phenomenon that it is not a consequence of a single factor such as selfishness but of a variety of factors. Effects of society and parents on individuals’ beliefs and stereotypes can be exemplified to as other factors To begin with, the first and most significant reason is effects of society and parents on what their child believes and what they think. Due to the this fact, individuals cannot have thoughts which are only their own. This way, presence of unhealthy thoughts and beliefs are transformed transmitted, handed down from one generation to new one. It can be said that, racial discrimination stems from acting with existing beliefs and also increasing full of hate each day derive from this transfer. The thought which that any race are could be superior than ot others ones plays a discriminatory role in the society. Secondly, another outstanding reason why people are exposed to racial discrimination is stereotypes which are imposed upon people. The sense of hate among individuals is may be beneficial for external powers. Therefore, they want to trigger racial discrimination and they can reach their advance their interests easily thanks to the fact that individuals tend to underestimate those who have belong to a different race or have different beliefs. Hence, stereotypes are imposed by the external powers via television, internet and other means of communication, which results in racial discrimination. To conclude, racial discrimination is not a product of a single factor. In fact, it is attributable to a variety of factors such as pressure of society, external powers and stereotypes. It is a huge problem, so it is the high time to consider its reasons and focus on the possible solutions
Racism and its inevitable consequence, is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
, create huge problems

among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Due to these problems,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been exposed
to racial

discrimination over the years, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
from living in peace.
Thus
,

racism and it’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
should
be considered
. Unfortunately, racism is such an intricate

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
phenomenon
that it is not a consequence of a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
such as selfishness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
of

a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
. Effects of society and parents on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals’
beliefs and

stereotypes can
be exemplified
to as other
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
factors


To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
first
and most significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is effects of society and parents

on what their child believes and what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
. Due to
Maybe you need to remove the second determiner so that only "the" or "this" is left.
the this
fact, individuals

cannot have thoughts which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. This way, presence of unhealthy

thoughts and beliefs
are transformed
transmitted, handed down from one generation

to new one. It can
be said
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
racial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
stems from acting with existing

beliefs and
also
increasing full of hate each day derive from this transfer. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
which that any race are could be
Some adjectives derived from Latin act as both adjective and comparative. In these cases use the collocation 'to'
superior than
Possible spelling mistake found.
ot


others
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
plays a discriminatory role in the society.

Secondly
, another outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are exposed
to racial

discrimination is stereotypes which
are imposed
upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The sense of hate

among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
is may be beneficial for external powers.
Therefore
, they want to

trigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
racial
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
discrimination and
they can reach their advance

their interests
easily
thanks to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
tend to underestimate those

who have
Use past participle here: "belonged".
belong
to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
race or have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
beliefs.
Hence
, stereotypes
are imposed
by the external powers via television, internet and other means of

communication, which results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
racial
discrimination.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
racial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
is not a product of a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
. In fact, it is

attributable to a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
such as pressure of society, external powers and

stereotypes. It is a huge problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is the high time to consider its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and

focus on the possible
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
solutions
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IELTS essay Racism and its inevitable consequence, is discrimination, create huge problems among people.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
327 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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