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under world development, public health is one of the greatest concerns of governments around the world. On the one hand, a group of people is convinced that the best method to better public health is boosting up the number of sports facilities. Whereas, an array of people contend that this

under world development, public health is one of the greatest concerns of governments around the world. On the one hand, a group of people is convinced that the best method to better public health is boosting up the number of sports facilities. Whereas, an array of people contend that this NlR52
Currently, under world development, public health is one of the greatest concerns of governments around the world. On the one hand, a group of people is convinced that the best method to better public health is boosting up the number of sports facilities. Whereas, an array of people contend that this has little impact on the health of the general community and the different measures should be implemented. In my opinion, In my opinion, I advocate this initiative and my essay will address several reasons to support my view and mention a number of other policies. One of the paramount reasons support to the first hand is that the emergence of sports center can promote the residents have the propensity to attend and experience it, that might brings tremendous benefits to their physical fitness. As a consequence, if the citizens practice on a regular basis, they can have better health, and the potential risk of contracting several diseases related to muscle or cardiovascular will be reduced. Notwithstanding this action seems to have many pivotal effects in long-term, the limitation behind is considerable. Indeed, the service charge to use these facilities is a problem with a few people in the lower class in society, they do not have enough financial conditions to have fitness training regularly so this can be counterproductive and lead to health problems. Therefore, the government should allocate more funds in organizing unpaid facilities in a vast number of public locations such as parks and dormitories so that all classes of people can have more opportunities to improve their health status. Additionally, propagating to raise public awareness and health play a pivotal as a precursor to encouraging citizens to pay more attention to their torso. In conclusion, the above-mentioned reasons for both views have caused a dilemma when citizens consider the impact of this issue. In my perspective, the authorities should invest more materials in the maintenance and construction of public facilities
Currently
, under world development,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is one of the greatest concerns of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
around the world. On the one hand, a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is convinced
that the best method to better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is boosting up the number of sports facilities. Whereas, an array of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contend that this has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the general community and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
measures should
be implemented
. In my opinion, In my opinion, I advocate this initiative and my essay will address several reasons to support my view and mention a number of other policies.

One of the paramount reasons support to the
first
hand is that the emergence of sports center can promote the residents have the propensity to attend and experience it, that might brings tremendous benefits to their physical fitness. As a consequence, if the citizens practice on a regular basis, they can have better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, and the potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of contracting several diseases related to muscle or cardiovascular will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

Notwithstanding this action seems to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pivotal effects in long-term, the limitation behind is considerable.
Indeed
, the service charge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these facilities is a problem with a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in society, they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
financial conditions to have fitness training
regularly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this can be counterproductive and lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should allocate more funds in organizing unpaid facilities in a vast number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
locations such as parks and dormitories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that all classes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have more opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
status.
Additionally
, propagating to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
awareness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
play a pivotal as a precursor to encouraging citizens to pay more attention to their torso.

In conclusion
, the above-mentioned reasons for both views have caused a dilemma when citizens consider the impact of this issue. In my perspective, the authorities should invest more materials in the maintenance and construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
facilities
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IELTS essay under world development, public health is one of the greatest concerns of governments around the world. On the one hand, a group of people is convinced that the best method to better public health is boosting up the number of sports facilities. Whereas, an array of people contend that this

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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