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Two ways to diminish social media addiction

Two ways to diminish social media addiction D2o6m
Addiction is the excessive usage of something in way affecting on important life aspects. Social media addiction has become a global phenomenon. The two main types of solutions to kill social media addiction are  personal and social. First, the personal ways are essential to successfully overcome social media addiction. Self control is one step toward healing from social media addiction. For example, turning off notification for relaxation or monitoring time by setting an alarm for using the internet. Moreover, dedicating free time for hobbies and sharpening skills is another step im the process. Music, arts, sports and alot of other titles are experimenting fields to find the best interests. Furthermore, self-improvement is an essential step to let go of social media addiction. As the person move toward (improvement), he is aiming to raise above all the nonsense and time waster to become a better version of himself. ( Only the personal well can achieve such changes to reach salvation from addicting to social media. ) Second, social media addiction can be diminish by social methods. Reconnecting with family and friends in live actions instead of viewing stories and liking pictures. Spending time with them throughout trips, or games or, just face-to-face chats prevent getting clingy to virtul reality softwares. Also, joining NGOs can help cover (the free time) in a beneficial way. Supporting society by working with needing members is (more useful) than posting about them online. In addition, socialization by going to parties or public parks and meeting people. Meeting people and get to know them in real life is (better than) adding them online and waste time with possible fake or skame profiles. (To sum it up, eliminating social media attachment can be done by two kinds of methods personal and social. Either by working on the  self abilities, or by reestablishing real life connections. (As a consequence, the world might become more advanced and peaceful, people will overcome their obstacles and accept each others. )
Addiction is the excessive usage of something in way affecting on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
life aspects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
addiction has become a global phenomenon. The two main types of solutions to kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
addiction are
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
and social.

First
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
ways are essential to
successfully
overcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
addiction.
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Self control
is one step toward healing from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
addiction.
For example
, turning off notification for relaxation or monitoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by setting an alarm for using the internet.
Moreover
, dedicating free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for hobbies and sharpening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is another step
Possible spelling mistake found.
im
the process. Music, arts, sports and
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of other titles are experimenting fields to find the best interests.
Furthermore
, self-improvement is an essential step to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
go of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
addiction. As the person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
toward (improvement), he is aiming to raise
above all
the nonsense and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
waster to become a better version of himself.
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
well can achieve such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to reach salvation from addicting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
Loose punctuation mark.
)


Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
addiction can be
Consider using the past participle "diminished"?
diminish
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
methods. Reconnecting with family and friends in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
actions
instead
of viewing stories and liking pictures. Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with them throughout trips, or games or,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
face-to-face chats
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
getting clingy to
Possible spelling mistake found.
virtul
reality
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
.
Also
, joining NGOs can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
cover (the free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time)
Consider replacing "in a beneficial way" with the adverb for "beneficial"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a beneficial way
. Supporting society by working with needing members is (more useful) than posting about them online.
In addition
, socialization by going to parties or public parks and meeting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Meeting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know them in real life is (better than) adding them online and waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with possible fake or
Possible spelling mistake found.
skame
profiles.

Unpaired symbol: ')' seems to be missing
(
To sum it up, eliminating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
attachment can
be done
by two kinds of methods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
. Either by working on the
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
self abilities, or by reestablishing real life connections. (As a consequence, the world might become more advanced and peaceful,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will overcome their obstacles and accept each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
.
Loose punctuation mark.
)
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IELTS essay Two ways to diminish social media addiction

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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