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two part question essay............

two part question essay. . . . . . . . . . . . 8aMRl
Essay. In today’s modern life where new technologies are done for people’s need, skills and music are discussed the number of every basic element of per societies. In the paragraphs below, I will show arts and exhibitions are rising our life. In my mind children and juniors should go to somewhere like museums or sport halls. Firstly, music and art are essential part of our life. Due to the fact, no one describes their life without music in our modernized era. There are numerous music for listening. On the contrary, the number of music is not suitable for teenagers. In fact, parents are not control their children. Consequently, their juniors are listen bad music. Pop music is not good for adults. In the result of this motion, pupils are learning this kind of music temporary reading book. Secondly, researches show numerous schools should get music schools. In fact, music is show our countries culture. Especially, narrators are sing about our countries history. In my mind, mankind is learning music and art. If someone knows draw a picture that can earn much money. For example someone draw a MONOLITHA’s picture they can sell for another countries people. Among the most important reason, humankind are earn money and developing their countries culture. Summarize the min points, art and music are important part of our life. Consequently, we keep our nationality with music. Consequently, future children know about our history culture.
Essay.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
where new technologies
are done
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s need,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are discussed
the number of every basic element of per societies. In the paragraphs below, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and exhibitions are rising our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my mind children and juniors should
There isn't usually a preposition before "somewhere". Did you mean "go somewhere"?
go to somewhere
like museums or sport halls.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
are essential part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Due to the fact, no one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in our modernized era. There are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
for listening.
On the contrary
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is not suitable for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. In fact, parents are not control their children.
Consequently
, their juniors are listen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. Pop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for adults. In the result of this motion, pupils are learning this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
temporary reading book.

Secondly
, researches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
numerous schools should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
schools. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
culture.
Especially
, narrators are sing about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
history. In my mind, mankind is learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
someone knows draw a picture that can earn much money.
For example
someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "draws", "drew".
draw
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
MONOLITHA
’s picture they can sell for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Among the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason, humankind are
Consider using a past participle here: "earned".
earn
money and developing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
culture.

Summarize the min points,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Consequently
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our nationality with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Consequently
, future children know about our history culture.
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IELTS essay two part question essay. . . . . . . . . . . .

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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