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Some say we should spend our money and time on wildlife protection while others say it should be spent on populations living in the poorest areas of the world. What's your opinion?

Some say we should spend our money and time on wildlife protection while others say it should be spent on populations living in the poorest areas of the world. What's your opinion? k6R9e
A large number of people possess the belief that utilizing national budget and time on conserving wild animal is better to conduct than supporting the poverty. From my point of view, there are several valid reason to prioritize residents living under poverty line. On the one hand, numerous ideas finger out that protecting wilderness means protecting our habitants. To illustrate, regarding to some study that well-balanced ecosystem maintains the health of environment so human’s need still depend on biodiversity. Thus, if we keep ecological balance, our quality of life will enhance because of clean water and fresh food. Therefore, government, non-profit organizations, individuals has been contributing towards growing the population of wilderness, especially endangered species. On the other hand, it would be better to spend money on inhabitants who living under poverty line because that is the wise way to solve unemployment. If government use their budget to invest in education, several non-profit course such as crash course, introductory course, vocational course, demanding course which appropriate for all ages will be organized. Therefore, the poverty access to education. It leads to increasing skillful labor resources. In addition, there is obvious vision that we will transform slums into urbans when we solve unemployment. To illustrate, numerous experts provide clear evidence that unemployment rate concentrate highly in slums. Thus, when inhabitants living in desitution get positions, the Government improves slums and beauty urban landscape. In conclusion, I could not deny the importance of protecting wilderness. However, it much more beneficial when national budgets are spent on impoverished people.
A large number of
people
possess the belief that utilizing national budget and time on conserving wild animal is better to conduct than supporting the
poverty
. From my point of view, there are several valid reason to prioritize residents living under
poverty
line.

On the one hand, numerous
ideas
finger out that protecting wilderness means protecting our habitants. To illustrate,
regarding to
some
study that well-balanced ecosystem maintains the health of environment
so
human’s need
still
depend on biodiversity.
Thus
, if we
keep
ecological balance, our quality of life will enhance
because
of clean water and fresh food.
Therefore
,
government
, non-profit organizations, individuals has been contributing towards growing the population of wilderness,
especially
endangered species.

On the other hand
, it would be better to spend money on inhabitants who living under
poverty
line
because
that is
the wise way to solve unemployment. If
government
use
their budget to invest in education, several non-profit
course
such as crash
course
, introductory
course
, vocational
course
, demanding
course
which appropriate for all ages will
be organized
.
Therefore
, the
poverty
access to education. It leads to increasing skillful labor resources.
In addition
, there is obvious vision that we will transform slums into
urbans
when we solve unemployment. To illustrate, numerous experts provide
clear
evidence that unemployment rate concentrate
highly
in slums.
Thus
, when inhabitants living in
desitution
get
positions, the
Government
improves
slums and beauty urban landscape.

In conclusion
, I could not deny the importance of protecting wilderness.
However
, it much more beneficial when national budgets
are spent
on impoverished
people
.
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IELTS essay Some say we should spend our money and time on wildlife protection while others say it should be spent on populations living in the poorest areas of the world. What's your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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