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TSA Essay- Globalization essay

TSA Essay- Globalization essay k5QyM
Recently, many articles published by far-right media claimed that globalization is not just destroying the borders but also cultural identity related to a nation. Some socialists have also claimed that globalization creates inequality and poverty and that it encourages the exploitation of labor and implementation of capitalism into a country's economic model. Both of the groups consider globalization to be a threat to nations. I can clearly resonate with them because of my background: my parents suffered from bankruptcy and long-term unemployment during the 2008 financial crisis, and had it not been for globalization things would get lots better since the world wouldn't have to bail out U. S banks. However, I can't agree with them. In this essay, I argue that globalization is not a threat to nations. To do so, I will outline two supporting arguments while responding to possible challenges to my approaches and objections. I argue that globalization leads to peace and interdependence, both of which are important for the preservation of the idea of nations. I will move this further, that national identity is similar to that of a person, and society is the aggregation of all nations. Some may object to my arguments, pretending globalization will eliminate the distinctive characteristics of a nation, and that it is a weak analogy to suppose a nation as a person. I first argue that nationhood, drastically different from statehood, refers to a group of people who share the same vision, religion, traditions, or history. Globalization is not a threat to nations. I argue that globalization leads to interdependence on resources, money, or laborers. Nations with interdependence with each other would not want to see this balance broken because of differences in cultures, traditions, and history. To avoid the situation, nations would start communicating with each other and learning others' cultures, eventually realizing that peace and mutual respect's cultures are the necessary conditions for both nations to preserve. Some may challenge this approach. They argue that globalization leads to the elimination of distinctive characteristics of different nations by mixing up every culture to create a new one that nations may find familiar to their original culture but cannot be completely familiar with the new one. They hold that nations provide people who have similar cultures and traditions with security and recognition. I, however, do not find this counter-argument convincing. Globalization fosters communication between different nations. Nations may have developed the same characteristics, but it does not therefore follow that globalization would eliminate the idea of nations. Lack of respect and understanding of others' nations or cultures would, unfortunately, lead to turmoils and wars between the two nations, eventually leading to the destruction of nations and cultures affiliated with them. I further argue that if it is true that nations are groups of people who share the same cultures, visions, traditions, or history, then it does follow that a nation is like a person with his/her full understanding of his/her ethnicity. The aggregation of nations is therefore similar to the society. A person cannot enjoy well-being if it lives outside society and society provides conditions for people to flourish while they get to keep their identities. Similarly, nations cannot live independently of each other or they'll fail to flourish. Some might object to this approach, arguing it's a weak comparison between a person and a nation. They argue that a nation cannot be understood as a human being since a nation consists of different people with different visions, traditions, or cultures. The argument fails, in my opinion. I contend that -the objection presupposes that there can't exist a distinct characteristic in a country- by doing so, the objection already contradicts its claim that globalization is a threat to nations since nations are not entirely different from each other.
Recently,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
articles published by far-right media claimed that globalization is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
destroying the borders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
cultural identity related to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
socialists have
also
claimed that globalization creates inequality and poverty and that it encourages the exploitation of labor and implementation of capitalism into a country's economic model. Both of the groups consider globalization to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
threat
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. I can
clearly
resonate with them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my background: my parents suffered from bankruptcy and long-term unemployment during the 2008 financial crisis, and had it not been for globalization things would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lots better since the world wouldn't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bail out U. S banks.
However
, I can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them.

In this essay, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that globalization is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
threat
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. To do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I will outline two supporting arguments while responding to possible challenges to my approaches and objections. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that globalization leads to peace and interdependence, both of which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the preservation of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
this
further
, that national identity is similar to that of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is the aggregation of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may object to my arguments, pretending globalization will eliminate the distinctive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, and that it is a weak analogy to suppose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
as a person.

I
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that nationhood,
drastically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from statehood, refers to a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who share the same vision, religion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
, or history.

Globalization is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
threat
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that globalization leads to interdependence on resources, money, or laborers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
with interdependence with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
would not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this balance broken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of differences in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
, and history. To avoid the situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
communicating with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and learning others'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
,
eventually
realizing that peace and mutual respect's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
are the necessary conditions for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to preserve.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "challenges".
challenge
this approach. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that globalization leads to the elimination of distinctive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
by mixing up every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
to create a new one that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
may find familiar to their original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cannot be completely familiar with the new one. They hold that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
with security and recognition. I,
however
, do not find this counter-argument convincing.

Globalization fosters communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
may have developed the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not
therefore
follow that globalization would eliminate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. Lack of respect and understanding of others'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
would, unfortunately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to turmoils and wars between the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
,
eventually
leading to the destruction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
affiliated with them.

I
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that if it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who share the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, visions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
, or history, then it does follow that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
is like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with his/her full understanding of his/her ethnicity. The aggregation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
is
therefore
similar to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
cannot enjoy well-being if it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
provides conditions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to flourish while they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their identities.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
independently
of each
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
other or
they'll fail to flourish.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
might object to this approach, arguing it's a weak comparison between a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
cannot
be understood
as a human being since a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
consists of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
visions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. The argument fails, in my opinion. I contend that -the objection presupposes that there can't exist a distinct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristic
in a country- by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the objection already contradicts its claim that globalization is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
threat
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are not
entirely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
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IELTS essay TSA Essay- Globalization essay

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
629 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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