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Travelling gives people inner peace.

Travelling gives people inner peace. 753L3
Travelling gives people inner peace. It helps people to remove tiredness. Personally, I believe that it is more beneficial for a person to travel to his own country rather than foreign countries. I feel this way for three reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. To begin with, traveling own country is less costly than traveling to foreign countries. To travel to foreign countries one requires passports, visas, and foreign currencies, which costs much. On the other hand, for traveling own country, none of those is required. Therefore, one can visit places. My personal example is a compelling example of this. I am an Indian. Last year, I went on a 10 days trip to the USA. For this trip, I had to spend 3000 dollars. On the other hand, with this 3000 dollars, I went for 60 days trip to my country at the beginning of this year. Thus, traveling to foreign countries is not cost-friendly. Secondly, traveling own country requires lesser time. Normally, an employee gets very few days as a holiday. So, it is impossible for him to visit foreign countries in this short time. For instance, my father is a bank employee and he only gets two days as a weekend. As a result, he can't get the opportunity to go abroad in this short time. Hence, he normally goes for a two-days trip inside our country. Finally, visiting our own country places gives us the opportunity to learn about our own culture and history. This helps to increase our love for our country. For example, in 2007, I went to visit the Tajmahal. By going there, I had learnt various things about our culture, and our country-people, which were unknown to me before visiting there. In conclusion, I will say Travelling to our own country is more important and beneficial to us. This is because it is less costly and less time-consuming. Besides, it gives us the opportunity to learn about our culture.
Travelling gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
inner peace. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to remove tiredness.
Personally
, I believe that it is more beneficial for a person to travel to his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I feel this way for three reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, traveling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is less costly than traveling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. To travel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
one requires passports, visas, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
currencies, which costs much.
On the other hand
, for traveling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, none of those
is required
.
Therefore
, one can visit places. My personal example is a compelling example of this. I am an Indian. Last year, I went on a 10 days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
to the USA. For this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
, I had to spend 3000 dollars.
On the other hand
, with this 3000 dollars, I went for 60 days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
at the beginning of this year.
Thus
, traveling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is not cost-friendly.

Secondly
, traveling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
requires lesser time.
Normally
, an employee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few days as a holiday.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is impossible for him to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in this short time.
For instance
, my father is a bank
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
employee and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
two days as a weekend.
As a result
, he can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to go abroad in this short time.
Hence
, he
normally
goes for a two-days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
inside our country.

Finally
, visiting our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
places gives us the opportunity to learn about our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture and history. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to increase our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, in 2007, I went to visit the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tajmahal
. By going there, I had
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
various things about our culture, and our country-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which were unknown to me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
visiting there.

In conclusion
, I will say Travelling to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and beneficial to us. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is less costly and less time-consuming.
Besides
, it gives us the opportunity to learn about our culture.

IELTS essay Travelling gives people inner peace.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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