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Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? Mlrr6
Nowadays, it cannot be denied that commercial have become popular and familiar with our usual life. Like in everything else, this issue has undoubtedly two sides and this essay aims to highlight both. On the one hand, advertisement help the business to let people know widely about their products. The more popular their brand is, the more goods they can sell. In addition, knowing different brand of one goods help the buyer to have various options. Consumer can have a comparation between many brands and they can choose which one is the best to buy. On top of this is the reality that advertising is an industry, so it creates more job for people. Almost grand enterprises have marketing field. Their works are let the public know about their corporation. As I have mentioned before, advertisement help a company sell more goods. As a result, they can widen productivity and employ more workers. On the other hand, commercial sometimes might not be true. The main purpose of advertising is to sell product, so advertisers often exaggerated the product. In fact, the quality is not as good as they have said. An excellent example would be advertisings on Youtube. In recent years, lots of short advertisements about medicine have been posted on Youtube. They called themselves physician and they have a number of treatments and panaceas which are passed by their ancestor. A range of light-hearted and in lack of understanding believe in them and buy those physics. Some of them have been poisoned. Another threatening possibility is advertising rise the price of goods. They have to pay for marketing staff, for those fees will be counted and make the prices go higher. In conclusion, it is therefore safe to say that commercial industry has brought about both positive and negative effects; thus, thorough deliberation is needed before any action can be taken
Nowadays, it cannot
be denied
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "that commercial has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that commercial have
become popular and familiar with our usual life. Like in everything else, this issue has
undoubtedly
two sides and this essay aims to highlight both.

On the one hand, advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the business to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know
widely
about their products. The more popular their brand is, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
they can sell.
In addition
, knowing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brand of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the buyer to have various options. Consumer can have a
Possible spelling mistake found.
comparation
between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
brands and
they can choose which one is the best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
. On top of this is the reality that advertising is an industry,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it creates more job for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Almost grand enterprises have marketing field. Their works are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the public know about their corporation. As I have mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
sell more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
As a result
, they can widen productivity and employ more workers.

On the other hand
, commercial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
might not be true. The main purpose of advertising is to sell product,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
advertisers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
exaggerated the product. In fact, the quality is not as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
as they have said. An excellent example would be
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisings on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
. In recent years, lots of short advertisements about medicine have
been posted
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
. They called themselves
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
physician and
they have a number of treatments and panaceas which
are passed
by their ancestor. A range of light-hearted and in lack of understanding believe in them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
those physics.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them have
been poisoned
. Another threatening possibility is advertising rise the price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for marketing staff, for those fees will
be counted
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the prices go higher.

In conclusion
, it is
therefore
safe to say that commercial industry has brought about both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects;
thus
, thorough deliberation
is needed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
any action can
be taken

IELTS essay Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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