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Traffic congestion in major cities is an increasing problem, yet there is an environmental impact to be considered when building new roads. What can be done about this problem?

Traffic congestion in major cities is an increasing problem, yet there is an environmental impact to be considered when building new roads. What can be done about this problem? KwVL0
In our day to day life we are dealing with one of the major problems is traffic. Most of the cities are dealing with the problem and villages are a bit on the safe side of the problem. Here I am going to explain what is the cause of the current situation and will put my thoughts how we can mitigate it. As per my view even in the towns only a few of the places deal with traffic congestion. As an example, IT companies located in prime locations and which is the ultimate choice for other businesses due to the demand. Due to that reason public travels to that location all the time for their works and daily needs. In that scenario we can assume how the roads appear in a peak hour during the day. Everyone wants to reach the destination on time. Unfortunately, they are not able to do so and end up in spending most of the pace on the road. As an example, If there are different routes to reach the destination, In that case there will be only one congestion point. At least, the office timings should be odd to mitigate it. Here is the permanent solution to deal with the problem which is, to build another road. If we are going with the option we should be careful in designing the path in a way which should not lead to pollution to the surrounding places. We should revisit all the consequences and design a plan. To conclude the situation, when we are looking for a mitigation plan with the traffic congestion we have to look for all the possibilities before going to build a new road as it it is going to lead in the environmental issue.
In our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life we are dealing with one of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is traffic. Most of the cities are dealing with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and villages are a bit on the safe side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. Here I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
what is the cause of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation and will put my thoughts how we can mitigate it.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
per my view even in the towns
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few of the places deal with traffic congestion. As an example, IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
located in prime locations and which is the ultimate choice for other businesses due to the demand. Due to that reason public travels to that location all the time for their works and daily needs. In that scenario we can assume how the roads appear in a peak hour during the day. Everyone wants to reach the destination on time. Unfortunately, they are not able to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in spending most of the pace on the road.

As an example, If there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
routes to reach the destination,
In that case
there will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one congestion point. At least, the office timings should be odd to mitigate it. Here is the permanent solution to deal with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
which is, to build another road.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
we are going with the option we should be careful in designing the path in a way which should not lead to pollution to the surrounding places. We should revisit all the consequences and design a plan.

To conclude
the situation, when we are looking for a mitigation plan with the traffic congestion we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look for all the possibilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to build a new road as
It seems you either mean "if it", "it" or there is a comma missing: "it, it".
it it
is going to lead in the environmental issue.

IELTS essay Traffic congestion in major cities is an increasing problem, yet there is an environmental impact to be considered when building new roads. What can be done about this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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