Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Traffic and housing problems could be solved if large companies, factories and their employees were relocated out of cities. Do you agree or disagree?

Traffic and housing problems could be solved if large companies, factories and their employees were relocated out of cities. qVXkd
Since the dawn of industrialization, the establishment of factories and companies have led to growth to numerous problems. It is believed that as industrialization is surging day-by-day, relocating them to countryside areas can resolve the problems concerned with traffic and residential areas to a certain extent. I vehemently deemed that since setting up of industrialization in the city canters are responsible for these emerging issues, it can be resolved by taking this initiative. To begin with, because of myriad reasons, the problem of transportation congestion can be alleviated if corporate and manufacturing units are shifted to the outskirts of the cities. Primarily, as industries appeal constant movement of vehicles in the field 24 hours a day, congestion is prevalent in those places. To explicate, as industries require a lot of transportation not only for raw material, but also to deliver the finished products, constant rotation of heavy load vehicles is observed. Not only, goods, but also workforce travelling to these commercial hubs on daily basis soar the travel in the area. Therefore, migration of commercial sectors to suburbs can reduce the transit in the cities. To exemplify, a survey conducted by the Highway Authority, USA in November, 2015 in the 4 regions of California revealed that transportation congestion on the roads due to trucks and cars was 20% more in the industrial and corporate regions as compared to the residential areas. Furthermore, because colossal number of workers are required for factories as well as offices, area nearby confront the problem of housing. To clarify, with the increase in man force in the companies, the claim of residential space also proliferates as most of the people prefer to live near to the workplaces. Also, as people working in the offices prefer to reduce their commutation time, the interest for housing in the nearby area’s surges; in turn leading to the unavailability of the houses. Thus, shifting the industries to outskirts can solve the issue of housing because government can plan to build new housing complex adjacent to those areas. For instance, with the expansion of corporate and industrial sector new in New Delhi in the year 2009, legal authorities had relocated most of the offices to Gurugram where new housing apartments had been built in order to accommodate the demand for housing, especially amidst the working-class people. To recapitulate, although setting up of factories and offices lead to multifarious issues related to traffic and demand in housing, it can be mitigated by migrating these sectors to rural areas where ample of space is available. If the government plans to take certain initiatives to curb the above mentioned problems, the issues can be resolved easily.
Since the dawn of industrialization, the establishment of factories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have led to growth to numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. It
is believed
that as industrialization is surging day-by-day, relocating them to countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can resolve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
concerned with traffic and residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to a certain extent. I
vehemently
deemed that since setting up of industrialization in the city canters are responsible for these emerging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
, it can
be resolved
by taking this initiative.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of myriad reasons, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of transportation congestion can
be alleviated
if corporate and manufacturing units
are shifted
to the outskirts of the cities.
Primarily
, as industries appeal constant movement of vehicles in the field 24 hours a day, congestion is prevalent in those places. To explicate, as industries require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
transportation not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for raw material,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to deliver the finished products, constant rotation of heavy load vehicles
is observed
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
workforce travelling to these commercial hubs on daily basis soar the travel in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
Therefore
, migration of commercial sectors to suburbs can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the transit in the cities. To exemplify, a survey conducted by the Highway Authority, USA in
When specifying a month and year, the comma is unnecessary: "November 2015".
November, 2015
in the 4 regions of California revealed that transportation congestion on the roads due to trucks and cars was 20% more in the industrial and corporate regions as compared to the residential areas.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
colossal number of workers
are required
for factories
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
nearby confront the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of housing. To clarify, with the increase in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
force in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, the claim of residential space
also
proliferates as most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
near to the workplaces.
Also
, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
working in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their commutation time, the interest for housing in the nearby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area’s
surges; in turn leading to the unavailability of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
Thus
, shifting the industries to outskirts can solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of housing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can plan to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
housing complex adjacent to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
For instance
, with the expansion of corporate and industrial sector
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Delhi in the year 2009, legal authorities had relocated most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gurugram
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
housing apartments had
been built
in order to accommodate the demand for housing,
especially
amidst the working-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To recapitulate, although setting up of factories and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
lead to multifarious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
related to traffic and demand in housing, it can
be mitigated
by migrating these sectors to rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
where ample of space is available. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
plans to take certain initiatives to curb the above mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
can
be resolved
easily
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Traffic and housing problems could be solved if large companies, factories and their employees were relocated out of cities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
443 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts