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Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. v.6

Despite several changes in the society in the last century, schools are still the primary place of learning for almost 90% of the World population. Educational institutions play an important role in moulding the personality of an individual. Such institutions are now expected to impart financial survival skills in their students. I strongly agree that children are to be taught these skills right from their schools. This essay will support my opinion with relevant evidences. The rapid changes in the societal and family setup over the last two decades necessitate every individual to become independent. For example, the number of divorces is increasing aggressively and there are several kids getting admitted to foster homes. The economic security offered by a traditional family is increasingly becoming a luxury. In such cases, children are faced with a hard life right at a very young age and having the suitable knowledge to manage themselves economically becomes necessary. Schools are almost the only place of learning for children at such young age and the teachers can act as great guides to help kids manage their own finances. On the other hand, learning to manage money earlier in life can lead to better financial discipline as adults. For instance, a man who has got a good amount of savings by doing part-time jobs from childhood is less likely to lose all that hard earned money in gambling. Further, acquiring money management practices becomes fun, when it is done along with peers. Also, there is a huge scope for such fun activities to inculcate a habit in regular life in the long term. Therefore, there are no better places than the classrooms to impart these fund management traits. In a nutshell, human beings have been traditionally looking up to educational avenues as places of learning. Therefore, schools are the best platforms to render the most necessary financial survival skills to the coming generations, when the World is transforming rapidly. It is recommended that the concerned authority takes into consideration the importance of fund management skills for students and incorporate the same in the syllabus.
Despite several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the society in the last century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
still
the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
for almost 90% of the World population. Educational institutions play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
Possible spelling mistake. ‘moulding’ is British English.
moulding
the personality of an individual. Such institutions are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to impart financial survival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in their students. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that children are to
be taught
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
right from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. This essay will support my opinion with relevant evidences.

The rapid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the societal and family setup over the last two decades necessitate every individual to become independent.
For example
, the number of divorces is increasing
aggressively
and there are several kids getting
The verb ‘admitted’ is used with the gerund form: “admitted fostering”.
admitted to foster
homes. The economic security offered by a traditional family is
increasingly
becoming a luxury. In such cases, children
are faced
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
life right at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age and having the suitable knowledge to manage themselves
economically
becomes necessary.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
are almost the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
for children at such young age and the teachers can act as great guides to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
kids manage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
finances.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to manage money earlier in life can lead to better financial discipline as adults.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of savings by doing part-time jobs from childhood is less likely to lose all that
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
hard earned
money in gambling.
Further
, acquiring money management practices becomes fun, when it
is done
along with peers.
Also
, there is a huge scope for such fun activities to inculcate a habit in regular life in the long term.
Therefore
, there are no better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
than the classrooms to impart these fund management traits.

In a nutshell, human beings have been
traditionally
looking up to educational avenues as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are the best platforms to render the most necessary financial survival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to the coming generations, when the World is transforming
rapidly
. It
is recommended
that the concerned authority takes into consideration the importance of fund management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for students and incorporate the same in the syllabus.
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IELTS essay Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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