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Traditional medicine, such as acupuncture and herbal remedies, is very popular in some countries. Those who practice traditional medicine claim it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

The popularity of traditional alternative medicine practice is increasing in some countries. This field includes therapy such as acupuncture and herbal for health improvement, which is often argued to be better than modern medicine. I completely disagree with this opinion and feel that scientific research-based modern medicine is better and safe than traditional medicine. The main reason as to why modern medicine is more trustworthy is because the treatment protocol is supported by scientific facts and findings. Modern medicine gives special effort to combat against the uncured diseases and improve the health condition. For example, countries such as USA and Canada have funds allocated for cancer research centers to investigate and provide better treatment and advanced medication for this disease. Moreover, due to the scientific approach, modern medicine has successfully eradicated several diseases. For instance, India has been declared as a “polio-free nation”, the wild poliovirus has been eliminated and the status was maintained for five years with no such case registered. However, traditional medicine is more of a hit and trial practice where at times it may be successful. In addition, research-based modern medicine provides safe treatment compared to traditional medicine which relies on old beliefs being passed on from one generation to the other. Is it safe to release vaccines for local use without testing? That is why in modern medicine, it is mandatory to test every drug or vaccine for any adverse effects such as allergies or chemical imbalance before introducing them to the market. Nevertheless, the side effects of herbal and acupuncture therapies are unidentified. In conclusion, although traditional medicine is practiced in some countries, complete recovery from disease is doubtful. Hence, modern medicine is more effective utilizing scientific and safe measures to improve human health.
The popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
practice is increasing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries. This field includes therapy such as acupuncture and herbal for health improvement, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued to be better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
. I completely disagree with this opinion and feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
research-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is better and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safe
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
medicine.

The main reason as to why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is more trustworthy is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the treatment protocol
is supported
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
facts and findings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
gives special effort to combat against the uncured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the health condition.
For example
, countries such
A determiner is probably missing here: “as the USA”.
as USA
and Canada have funds allocated for cancer research centers to investigate and provide better treatment and advanced medication for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
.
Moreover
, due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
approach,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
has
successfully
eradicated several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
For instance
, India has
been declared
as a “polio-free nation”, the wild poliovirus has
been eliminated
and the status
was maintained
for five years with no such case registered.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is more of a hit and trial practice where at times it may be successful.

In addition
, research-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safe
treatment compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
which relies on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
beliefs
being passed
on from one generation to the other. Is it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safe
to release vaccines for local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
without testing?
That is
why in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
, it is mandatory to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
every drug or vaccine for any adverse effects such as allergies or chemical imbalance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
introducing them to the market.
Nevertheless
, the side effects of herbal and acupuncture therapies
are unidentified
.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is practiced
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, complete recovery from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
is doubtful.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is more effective utilizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safe
measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
human health.
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IELTS essay Traditional medicine, such as acupuncture and herbal remedies, is very popular in some countries. Those who practice traditional medicine claim it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health. with this viewpoint?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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