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Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

Nowadays, a majority of people are showing interests in partipicating risk-involved activities such as mountain climbing, hang-gliding etc. In my opinion, Humans are taking such risks either as an adventure or for their job as they can't find other suitable jobs to lead a life and this kind of indulgence might pave way to deterioration of mankind. There are two reasons, I believe, which make people to indulge in keeping their lives at risk. One, due to out of curiosity in the name of venturing, a vast majority of youths are putting their lives at risk. Another, being unable to find a way to lead their day-to-day life, those who are in poverty, accept to do such jobs in adventure parks for considerable wages. For instance, two persons from my neighbourhood, one from a well-off family goes for mountain climbing as a part of his leisure activity and another from a poor background chose his occupation as an entertainer in a tourist spot where he needs to walk on a rope which is hung between two peaks. In my point of view, participating in such activities is not at all a positive trend. Eventhough these activities may provide joy, thrill and even money, at the end it may cost our precious life. For example, as mentioned in the above paragraph, those two neighbours are not alive at this moment, which not only affected them alone but also their dependants. However, not everyone who undergoes these activities are leaving this world but a major population face this dreadful end To conclude, the current world is going on this path where lives are at major risk because of either seeing pleasure over adventure or as a mandatory job to run a life. This trend is absolutely wrong, as our life is not granted and also it can be useful in many essential parts.
Nowadays, a majority of
people
are showing interests in
partipicating
risk
-involved
activities
such as mountain climbing, hang-gliding etc. In my opinion, Humans are taking such
risks
either as an adventure or for their
job
as they can't find other suitable
jobs
to lead a
life
and this kind of indulgence might pave way to deterioration of mankind.

There are two reasons, I believe, which
make
people
to indulge in keeping their
lives
at
risk
. One, due to out of curiosity in the name of venturing, a vast majority of youths are putting their
lives
at
risk
. Another, being unable to find a way to lead their day-to-day
life
, those who are in poverty, accept to do such
jobs
in adventure parks for considerable wages.
For instance
, two persons from my
neighbourhood
, one from a well-off family goes for mountain climbing as a part of his leisure
activity
and another from a poor background chose his occupation as an entertainer in a tourist spot where he needs to walk on a rope which
is hung
between two peaks.

In my point of view, participating in such
activities
is not at all a
positive
trend.
Eventhough
these
activities
may provide joy, thrill and even money, at the
end
it may cost our precious
life
.
For example
, as mentioned in the above paragraph, those two
neighbours
are not alive at this moment, which not
only
affected
them alone
but
also
their
dependants
.
However
, not everyone who undergoes these
activities
are leaving this world
but
a major population face this dreadful
end


To conclude
, the
current
world is going on this path where
lives
are at major
risk
because
of either seeing pleasure over adventure or as a mandatory
job
to run a
life
. This trend is
absolutely
wrong
, as our
life
is not granted and
also
it can be useful in
many
essential parts.
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IELTS essay Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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