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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? to improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors v.285

to improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors v. 285
Some say that studying the past has no benefits for those in present era. I totally disagree with this statement because somehow history helps us learn from our past and enables us to build our future based on existing inventions. To begin with, without out past, human evolution would never have happened. Undoubtedly, we are constantly innovating ourselves based on what we have learnt before. Furthermore, an individual is only able to perfect themselves once they learnt from their mistakes, eventually it enables them to make more informed decisions by reflecting on historical outcomes involving similar decisions and situations. For example, the Twin Tower in USA, has been reconstructed using specially designed materials and glasses that have the capacity to repel an aircraft from a distance of 2 kilometres. Another important aspect is that all our discoveries are always based on our past knowledge. Take for example our transport system; the light railways are made through our old fashioned charcoal fuelled trains where coal was burnt to release energy. Later, engineers have been able to apply the same basic principles to design more advanced trains, including the Metro, light railways and cables. If it weren't for the invention of those trains, these new systems would never have taken place. In conclusion, I believe that learning from the past is essential in our lives, as it prevents us from making past mistakes as well as helping us to make technological advancements based on those past inventions. Therefore, I also believe that history lessons should form part of our educational system.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say that studying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
has no benefits for those in present era. I
totally
disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
somehow history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us learn from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
and enables us to build our future based on existing inventions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Did you mean "without"?
without out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, human evolution would never have happened.
Undoubtedly
, we are
constantly
innovating ourselves based on what we have
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Furthermore
, an individual is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
able to perfect themselves once they
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from their mistakes,
eventually
it enables them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more informed decisions by reflecting on historical outcomes involving similar decisions and situations.
For example
, the Twin Tower
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
, has
been reconstructed
using
specially
designed materials and glasses that have the capacity to repel an aircraft from a distance of 2
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect is that all our discoveries are always based on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
knowledge. Take
for example
our transport system; the light railways
are made
through our
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
charcoal fuelled trains where coal
was burnt
to release energy. Later, engineers have been able to apply the same basic principles to design more advanced trains, including the Metro, light railways and cables. If it weren't for the invention of those trains, these new systems would never have taken place.

In conclusion
, I believe that learning from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
is essential in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
us from making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
mistakes
as well
as helping us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
technological advancements based on those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
inventions.
Therefore
, I
also
believe that history lessons should form part of our educational system.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay to improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors v. 285

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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