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TPO47- It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life v.1

TPO47- It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life v. 1
Opinions are divided on whether advances in science have led to an improvement or a deterioration in the range and quality of the food we eat. I believe that, although we now have a greater range of food available, the quality is often lower and it may even be dangerous. Looking first at availability, there is a much greater variety of food now, thanks to improvements in refrigeration and transportation. In the past, because it was not possible to keep food fresh for more than a few days, people could only consume products made locally, or within easy reach of their local area. In contrast, nowadays, it is possible to freeze produce like meat, or to keep fruit and vegetables fresh for several days by storing them at a low enough temperature. This, along with more efficient transport systems enables the provision of fresh produce to almost anywhere in the world, which means that people living in northern latitudes have access to tropical fruit all year round. However, not all technological advances are beneficial, and there are dangers for consumers of genetically modified and of highly processed food. With regard to the former, this relatively new technology has never been proven safe in long term studies. As a result of its introduction, there has been an increase in the number of people suffering from certain chronic diseases, and many doctors now recommend that their patients avoid food made from GM products altogether. As far as processed food is concerned, the industrial production of these products tends to destroy the vitamins and other nutrients, and at the same time, unhealthy ingredients are added, like vegetable oil and MSG, which may be extremely detrimental to people’s health. In conclusion, while it is true that there is a much larger selection of food available now, the quality has deteriorated which makes some food harmful because of the use of processed and GM products
Opinions
are divided
on whether advances in science have led to an improvement or a deterioration in the range and quality of the
food
we eat. I believe that, although we
now
have a greater range of
food
available, the quality is
often
lower and it may even be
dangerous
.

Looking
first
at availability, there is a much greater variety of
food
now
, thanks to improvements in refrigeration and transportation. In the past,
because
it was not possible to
keep
food
fresh for more than a few days,
people
could
only
consume
products
made
locally
, or within easy reach of their local area.
In contrast
, nowadays, it is possible to freeze produce like meat, or to
keep
fruit and vegetables fresh for several days by storing them at a low
enough
temperature. This, along with more efficient transport systems enables the provision of fresh produce to almost anywhere in the world, which means that
people
living in northern latitudes have access to tropical fruit all year round.

However
, not all technological advances are beneficial, and there are
dangers
for consumers of
genetically
modified and of
highly
processed
food
. With regard to the former, this
relatively
new technology has never
been proven
safe in long term studies.
As a result
of its introduction, there has been an increase in the number of
people
suffering from certain chronic diseases, and
many
doctors
now
recommend that their patients avoid
food
made from GM
products
altogether. As far as processed
food
is concerned
, the industrial production of these
products
tends to
destroy
the vitamins and other nutrients, and at the same time, unhealthy ingredients are
added
, like vegetable oil and MSG, which may be
extremely
detrimental to
people’s
health.

In conclusion
, while it is true that there is a much larger selection of
food
available
now
, the quality has deteriorated which
makes
some
food
harmful
because
of the
use
of processed and GM
products
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO47- It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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