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Tpo32Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should receive money for doing household tasks such as cleaning. Use specific examples and details to support your opinion. v.1

Tpo32 Children should receive money for doing household tasks such as cleaning. Use specific examples and details to support your opinion. v. 1
Although it is known that modern technology makes individuals more sociable, it is also considered that it makes them less communicative. In my opinion, modern technology tends to influence people in a positive way, thus, they improve their communication skills for the reasons provided below. Some people may argue that new technologies can reduce human's abilities of sociability. The idea is that nowadays the population of the Earth tends to spend much of their time by surfing social network sites, such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat; therefore, they do not talk to their friends in the real life. However, this is not a completely valid point. For instance, recent researches provide data that individuals these days are trying to avoid surfing the Internet and other benefits of modern technology. Furthermore, the Internet gives an opportunity to make friends, because of the mentioned social networks, hence, a chance of meeting them in real life increases sharply. Another popular perspective on the issue is that persons are able to improve their skills of communication by using modern technology. Basically, people can talk to each other via the Internet when the distance between them is significant; therefore, it does not only provide an opportunity to communicate with such a distance but thoroughly develops communication skills, along with a relationship. I completely agree with this stance as I believe that it opens more possibilities for individuals. To be specific, currently making a conversation via the Internet is more than true, moreover, chatting through video calls is also possible, which leads to feeling the being of a person and boosts techniques of sociability. To conclude, although some argue that modern technology is making humans less sociable, I am certain that it brings more benefits to people, such as developing some of their communication skills and making friends.
Although it
is known
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
individuals more sociable, it is
also
considered that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them less communicative. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
tends to influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way,
thus
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for the reasons provided below.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may argue that new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human abilities"?
human's abilities
of sociability. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is that nowadays the population of the Earth tends to spend much of their time by surfing social network sites, such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat;
therefore
, they do not talk to their friends in the real life.
However
, this is not a completely valid point.
For instance
, recent researches provide data that individuals these days are trying to avoid surfing the Internet and other benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Furthermore
, the Internet gives an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the mentioned social networks,
hence
, a chance of meeting them in real life increases
sharply
.

Another popular perspective on the issue is that persons are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Basically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can talk to each other via the Internet when the distance between them is significant;
therefore
, it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide an opportunity to communicate with such a distance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
thoroughly
develops
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, along with a relationship. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this stance as I believe that it opens more possibilities for individuals. To be specific,
currently
making a conversation via the Internet is more than true,
moreover
, chatting through video calls is
also
possible, which leads to feeling the being of a person and boosts techniques of sociability.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is making humans less sociable, I am certain that it brings more benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, such as developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and making friends.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Tpo32 Children should receive money for doing household tasks such as cleaning. Use specific examples and details to support your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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