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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Parents today are more involved in their children's education than parents were in the past. v.594

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Parents today are more involved in their children's education than parents were in the past. v. 594
In this competitive world, education is considered to be an exceptionally approach to achieve individual goals. It is becoming a trend that parents are more involved in their children' s education at every developmental stage. First, parents are more involved in their children' s early education. When you go into a book store, you can likely see a large number of books that teach potential parents how to prepare for their children' s development. As you can see, these parents are involved in their children' s cultivation, even when these babies are still in mothers' bodies. This is mainly because they believe that it is better to educate their children as early as possible. In other words, they want their children win at the starting line of the long running of life. It is impossible for parents in the past. Second, parents are more involved in the education of very young children. According to some American study projects, the education at children' s young ages is very important, which can significantly determine the future performance in high school and even in universities. Thus, parents are so busy selecting and taking up the positions in top private primary schools, generally, which are better than public ones. For example, in China, in order to send their children to top primary schools, parents spend up to 30, 000 Yuan per year, which is not affordable for most families. Third, parents also make contributions to their children' s education when they are more that 12 years. At this developmental stage, it is time for parents to select top high schools, regardless the difficulty of this process. For instance, in America, it is important for parents to buy a house in a great district with very high education index, more than 8. 0. Generally, a house in this kind of district is more expensive, even need double or triple price of a house with the same condition, but without good schools. In conclusion, parents are highly involved in the education of their children, no matter how old their children are, but in the past, it is not a common phenomienon.
In this competitive world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is considered
to be an
You used an adverb ('exceptionally') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('approach') instead of another adjective.
exceptionally approach
to achieve individual goals. It is becoming a trend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more involved in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
at every developmental stage.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more involved in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. When you go into a book store, you can likely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
books that teach potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
how to prepare for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s development. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are involved
in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s cultivation, even when these babies are
still
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
mothers&
#039; bodies. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that it is better to educate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as early as possible.
In other words
, they want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
win at the starting line of the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long running
of life. It is impossible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the past.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more involved in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
American study projects, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s young ages is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, which can
significantly
determine the future performance in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and even in universities.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy selecting and taking up the positions in top private primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
generally
, which are better than public ones.
For example
, in China, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to top primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
spend up to 30, 000 Yuan per year, which is not affordable for most families.

Third,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
contributions to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
when they are more that 12 years. At this developmental stage, it is time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to select top high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, regardless the difficulty of this process.
For instance
, in America, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in a great district with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
index, more than 8. 0.
Generally
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in this kind of district is more expensive, even need double or triple price of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with the same condition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
schools.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
highly
involved in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, no matter how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the past, it is not a common
Possible spelling mistake found.
phenomienon
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Parents today are more involved in their children's education than parents were in the past. v. 594

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
355 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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