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TPO18Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. v.2

TPO18 Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. v. 2
It comes as no surprise that efforts to finding the most effective people for students by whom they are influenced have been always among the top priorities. A controversial question which is often raised regarding this issue is that whether teachers have more effects on students than their friends or not. I, to a great extent, concur with the idea that friends have greater influence on the students. The rationale behind this thesis will be elaborated by the most outstanding reasons. The first exquisite point that makes me hold this belief is that young people are greatly receptive of their age mates. It goes without saying that people in the same age have similar concerns and attitudes; so, they can better influence each other. For example, a teacher cannot figure out the problems of students since he lived in different era, when he was in their age, which the condition definitely differ from present. Consider a student that have a problem and talk to his teacher and his friends. His friends can evaluate the problem from the student' s viewpoint and give him practical advises. But the teacher look at the problem from his angle which is totally differ from his prospective and so his advises are nonsense for student. Another reason deserving some words here is that since friends spend a lot of time with each other, they can intentionally or unintentionally affect each other. When people spend time beside each other, they gradually obtain various behaviors from each other until their characteristics become the same. For example, if some people spend many time with each other, you can vividly see this similarity in them. Researches show people' s brain unintentionally receive information from the surrounding environment and imprints them in their mind. Whatsoever the more the information are repeated, the more effect they have on people' s behavior. Finally, yet importantly, whatsoever students are comfortable with people, they get influence from them. Since the students are more comfortable with their friends rather than by teachers, friends have more effects on them. Teachers are usually elder than students; so, students must respect them and consider a proper distance between themselves and their teacher. In this circumstance, they do not feel comfort to talk with them and get their opinion about different matters in their life. On the other hands, friends are really comfortable with each other and can easily talk about their concerns and dilemma. As I remember, when I was in high school, I had a critical financial problem. First, I thought to consult with my teacher, but I was embarrassed about the subject and cannot talk to him. But, I talked to one of my friends, he kindly advices me and I could solve my problem by his advice. In conclusion, contemplating all the aforementioned paragraphs, one can soon realize that students are more receptive of their friends since not only do they completely know others' needs and can better influence each other, but also they spend a lot of time with their friends and are more comfortable with them. It is highly recommended that parents not underestimate the value of choosing right friends for their children since they have huge impact on their behavior.
It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
as no surprise that efforts to finding the most effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by whom they
are influenced
have been always among the top priorities. A controversial question which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
raised regarding this issue is that whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have more effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or not. I, to a great extent, concur with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
have greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The rationale behind this thesis will
be elaborated
by the most outstanding reasons.

The
first
exquisite point that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me hold this belief is that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
greatly
receptive of their age mates. It goes without saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the same age have similar concerns and attitudes;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they can better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
cannot figure out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
since he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
era, when he was in their age, which the condition definitely differ from present. Consider a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
that have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
and his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. His
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
can evaluate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
student&
#039; s viewpoint and give him practical advises.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
look at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
from his angle which is
totally
Consider using a past participle here: "differed".
differ
from his prospective and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
his advises are nonsense for student.

Another reason deserving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words here is that since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, they can
intentionally
or
unintentionally
affect each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
beside each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, they
gradually
obtain various behaviors from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
until their characteristics become the same.
For example
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, you can
vividly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this similarity in them. Researches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s brain
unintentionally
receive information from the surrounding environment and imprints them in their mind. Whatsoever the more the information
are repeated
, the more effect they have on
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s behavior.

Finally
,
yet
importantly
, whatsoever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfortable
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
from them. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfortable
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
rather
than by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
have more effects on them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
are
usually
elder than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
respect them and consider a proper distance between themselves and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
. In this circumstance, they do not feel comfort to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
with them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their opinion about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
matters in their life. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hands,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfortable
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and can
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
about their concerns and dilemma. As I remember, when I was in high school, I had a critical financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
First
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to consult with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
was embarrassed
about the subject and cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
to him.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I talked to one of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, he kindly advices me and I could solve my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by his advice.

In conclusion
, contemplating all the aforementioned paragraphs, one can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
realize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more receptive of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
since not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do they completely know
Possible spelling mistake found.
others&
#039; needs and can better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfortable
with them. It is
highly
recommended that parents not underestimate the value of choosing right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
for their children since they have huge impact on their behavior.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
74Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO18 Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
538 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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