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TPO12Do you agree or disagree with following statement? It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects to specialize in one specific subject. v.2

TPO12 It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects to specialize in one specific subject. v. 2
Nowadays, no one can deny the importance of academic study. Some people may hold the opinion that if you gain vast knowledge from many academic subjects, it is better for you. But others have a negative attitude. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the second group of people because, obviously, if you focus only on one subject then you one subject, you can be a good expert on that subject. I will try to examine below the specific reasons for my idea according to which I think are the most common viewpoints today. First let us look at what a person can typically gain from study a academic subject. By studying subject, everyone can learn any knowledge about that major that help him or her to find a good job. It goes without saying that, although knowing from any subject is helpful, learning deeply one subject is more useful and helpful for students. By way of illustration, computer industry need people who are very handy in programming. In other hand, learning chemistry or physic are not essential for getting a job in computer company. There is also a more subtle point we must consider. If you decide study only one subject, you a comprehensive view about that you can find more idea about it. Taking my brother for example, he study only biology and he has many innovative and novel ideas and concepts about his major that helped he to do a lot of research in biology and he is studying PhD in one of the best univeristies around the word now. Finally, I cannot oversee the fact that learning many broad subjects also means wasting our invaluable time. To elucidate on, if you want to have enough knowledge about many subjects then you need a lot aof time. Also, every subject has many aspects you might intrigued by them and then you loss many of your time. For instance, one of my friends decide to study many academic subjects in university. In contrast, I prefer to only study one subject. He does not graduated while I graduate last year. Drawing upon the reasons, although there are always some exceptions which are escluded from the general rule, I do agree that the benfits of study only one subject is more than merits of other plan. To recapitulate the reasons, not only you can gain a good jobs by focusing on one subject, but also you have more time and ideas.
Nowadays, no one can deny the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may hold the opinion that if you gain vast knowledge from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, it is better for you.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
others have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitude. As far as I
am concerned
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
obviously
, if you focus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
then you one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, you can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
expert on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. I will try to examine below the specific reasons for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
according to which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
are the most common viewpoints
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

First
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us look at what a person can
typically
gain from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. By studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, everyone can learn any knowledge about that major that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him or her to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job. It goes without saying that, although knowing from any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is helpful, learning
deeply
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is more useful and helpful for students. By way of illustration, computer industry need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
handy in programming. In other hand, learning chemistry or physic are not essential for getting a job in computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

There is
also
a more subtle point we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider. If you decide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, you a comprehensive view about that you can find more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
about it. Taking my brother
for example
, he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "studies", "studied".
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
biology and
he has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
innovative and novel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
and concepts about his major that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
he to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
research in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
biology and
he is studying PhD in one of the best
Possible spelling mistake found.
univeristies
around the word
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Finally
, I cannot oversee the fact that learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
broad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
also
means wasting our invaluable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. To elucidate on, if you want to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
then you need a lot
Possible spelling mistake found.
aof
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Also
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects you might
The verb 'might' requires the base form of the verb: "intrigue"
intrigued
by them and then you
Did you mean "lost" (past tense of the verb 'lose')?
loss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For instance
, one of my friends decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in university.
In contrast
, I prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. He does not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "graduate"?
graduated
while I graduate last year.

Drawing upon the reasons, although there are always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exceptions which are
Possible spelling mistake found.
escluded
from the general
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
benfits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is more than merits of other plan. To recapitulate the reasons, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
you can gain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
jobs by focusing on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
you have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO12 It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects to specialize in one specific subject. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
413 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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