Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

TPO Independent WritingDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? To improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors. v.2

TPO Independent Writing To improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors. v. 2
In the modern era, university professors play pivotal roles in training the future workforce of a country. As they have a crucial role in academic education and nurturing the generation who will run the wheels of industry in the future, it is important that they perform well at their work. In this regard, some people believe that to improve the quality of education, universities ought to spend more on professors' salaries while others don' t adhere to this idea. From my vantage point, they deserve more salary and that would cause them to work better. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on my view through two significant reasons. The first aspect to point out is that sufficient amount of salary cause the professors to concentrate more on their work and there would be no reason for them to find another activity to make money along with their jobs. But, if they aren' t given an adequate amount of salary, they may focus on other activities to make money rather than focusing on teaching or research activities. For instance, at my university, many professors tend to work in other places along with their job as professors. For example, they may lead other projects or hold some positions at other companies. This would cause them to devote less time to their work at university. As a result, students can' t actually gain working or passing courses with these professors since the professors are not often present at the university or don' t pay much attention to their teaching method. Did these professors receive more salary, they wouldn' t work at other places and would dedicate more passion and time to their work as professors. Therefore, with insufficient salaries of university professors, the quality of education could be affected adversely. Furthermore, if such jobs don' t provide high salary, young people, who are really passionate about teaching and are really adept, lose their interest in becoming a university professor. They may consider finding another job which offers more salary instead of pursuing their talent. Consequently, a university' s faculty would be occupied with other people are not knowledgeable and intelligent as them and students can' t learn much in the classes and the education quality would definitely decline. In the long term, there would be negative consequences for the country as well since its workforce lacks the necessary education and knowledge about their own jobs. To recapitulate, all aforementioned reasons lead us to the fact that university professors deserve to have more salaries since they provide fundamental education for the future generation of a country. Although other aspects should be considered to enhance the quality of education, such as improving university facilities and labs, the fact that providing more salaries would bring about better performance of professors and employment of more qualified and talented professors, lead us to the conclusion that their salaries must be increased.
In the modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
play pivotal roles in training the future workforce of a country. As they have a crucial role in academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and nurturing the generation who will run the wheels of industry in the future, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that they perform well at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
ought to spend more on
Possible spelling mistake found.
professors&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
while others
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t adhere to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. From my vantage point, they deserve more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
and that would cause them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
better. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on my view through two significant reasons.

The
first
aspect to point out is that sufficient amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
to concentrate more on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and there would be no reason for them to find another activity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money along with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, if they
Possible spelling mistake found.
aren&
#039; t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an adequate amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, they may focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money
rather
than focusing on teaching or research activities.
For instance
, at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places along with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
.
For example
, they may lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
projects or hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
positions at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. This would cause them to devote less time to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
As a result
, students
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t actually gain working or passing courses with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
present at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t pay much attention to their teaching method. Did these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
receive more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, they
Possible spelling mistake found.
wouldn&
#039; t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places and would dedicate more passion and time to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
.
Therefore
, with insufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
adversely
.

Furthermore
, if such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t provide high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who are
really
passionate about teaching and are
really
adept, lose their interest in becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
. They may consider finding another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which offers more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
instead
of pursuing their talent.
Consequently
, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
university&
#039; s faculty would
be occupied
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not knowledgeable and intelligent as them and students
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t learn much in the classes and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
would definitely decline. In the long term, there would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences for the country
as well
since its workforce lacks the necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and knowledge about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
jobs.

To recapitulate, all aforementioned reasons lead us to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
deserve to have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
since they provide fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for the future generation of a country. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects should
be considered
to enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, such as improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
facilities and labs, the fact that providing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
would bring about better performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
and employment of more qualified and talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
, lead us to the conclusion that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be increased
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
64Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO Independent Writing To improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
484 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts