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TPO 6 Task 2: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Life is easier and more comfortable today than it was when your grandparents were children. v.2

TPO 6 Task 2: Life is easier and more comfortable today than it was when your grandparents were children. v. 2
That life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when our grandparents were children is an undeniable fact. Taking a deeper look at history, one realizes that life has changed significantly and almost everything differs from what it looked like in the past. Some people agree with this fact, others oppose. From my vantage point, I approve the statement. From the most predominant reasons in support of this contention, new technologies and persons' higher education and awareness could be picked out for further discussion. To begin with, with the advent of new technologies, many things have changed. The way we do our daily tasks now, completely differs from how they used to done before. A vivid example could be mentioned to shed light to this issue. Owing to computers and internet, we can have access to information easily and quickly, do shopping online, communicate with society using social network systems. None of these were done like this during our grandparents' childhood. Moreover, thanks to advances in medical science, people are healthier and fewer patients die due to lack of medical services or knowledge. What' s more, transportation systems improved our life substantially. Using cars or public transportation, individuals can travel through cities and visit new places, which gives them the opportunities to have new experiences, make new friends, and know more about life and other cultures. All these, make our life more convenient. Besides the aforementioned point, due to more and easier access to various sources of information such as e-books, journals, and online encyclopedias, people' s level of education and awareness has enhanced impressively. A 10 years old child today knows much more than an adult during our grandparents' time. Therefore, lifestyles have altered. People get more out of their life and enjoy more. Because of their increased knowledge, parents can train their children effectively; hence, the next generation will have a superior life and a more convenient lifestyle. All in all, although some may argue that today we have more problems such as air pollution, more crimes and drugs; and our life is to busy and fast, I still agree with the fact that life today is easier and more comfortable.
That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
is easier and more comfortable than it was when our grandparents
Did you mean "where children is"?
were children is
an undeniable fact. Taking a deeper look at history, one realizes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
significantly
and almost everything differs from what it looked like in the past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this fact, others oppose. From my vantage point, I approve the statement. From the most predominant reasons in support of this contention,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies and
Possible spelling mistake found.
persons&
#039; higher education and awareness could
be picked
out for
further
discussion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, with the advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. The way we do our daily tasks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, completely differs from how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
Did you mean "do"?
done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. A vivid example could
be mentioned
to shed light to this issue. Owing to computers and internet, we can have access to information
easily
and
quickly
,
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go shopping".
do shopping
online, communicate with society using social network systems. None of these
were done
like this during our
Possible spelling mistake found.
grandparents&
#039; childhood.
Moreover
, thanks to advances in medical science,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are healthier and fewer patients
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
due to lack of medical services or knowledge.
Possible spelling mistake found.
What&
#039; s more, transportation systems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
substantially
. Using cars or public transportation, individuals can travel through cities and visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
places, which gives them the opportunities to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiences,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends, and know more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and other cultures. All these,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more convenient.

Besides
the aforementioned point, due to more and easier access to various sources of information such as e-books, journals, and online encyclopedias,
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s level of education and awareness has enhanced
impressively
. A 10 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
knows much more than an adult during our
Possible spelling mistake found.
grandparents&
#039; time.
Therefore
, lifestyles have altered.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more out of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and enjoy more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of their increased knowledge, parents can train their children
effectively
;
hence
, the
next
generation will have a superior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and a more convenient lifestyle.

All in all, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
we have more problems such as air pollution, more crimes and drugs; and our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is to busy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
, I
still
Consider using "agree that".
agree with the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
is easier and more comfortable.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 6 Task 2: Life is easier and more comfortable today than it was when your grandparents were children. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
365 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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