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TPO 49 - Question 6Using points and examples from the lecture, explain two disadvantages of living in groups for animals. v.1

TPO 49 - Question 6Using points and examples from the lecture, explain two disadvantages of living in groups for animals. v. 1
With the introduction of technology, human life has changed drastically over the decades. Among this the biggest invention was the W3. The W3 helped in the design of various devices, which acted as the working basics of this equipment. Peoples consumption and sharing information have changed radically over the decades. In this essay, we can discuss the problems aroused as a result of this and can find some solutions. Firstly, the internet itself means connecting, which connects the people all around the globe. Sole must be very vigilant while using the server. The WWW has several loopholes that anyone can hack anybody’s data. There are many hacking methods which hackers use to fetch this data, and will use these for cyber fraud. Using this, scammers can smuggle cash from the account or even can blackmail the concern person. Cyber-bullying is another major problem, which can destroy a person mentally. There is a plethora of suicidal cases reported as an outcome of cyber-attack. Morphing is a method of transforming photos and videos seamlessly, the photos and videos, that we upload to the social media are grievous. These photos were used to harass, stalk and threaten online. The web is a sphere, which can be dangerous for the kids. There are chances that children can access potentially dangerous sites and perhaps get mis leaded in many ways. For example, pornography sites. Through checking before filling online forms, avoid providing personal information including phone numbers, bank details, address, are the main precautions one has to do for their own security. While uploading photos or videos, solitary has to keep it private so that, nobody can download it. Parents should monitor the children and guide as well as supervision them, while using the gadgets with connectivity. Do not save data as well as passwords in the system with hyperspaces. Companies should improve their IT security systems. It is recommended to review and update security software on time. The government should implement stronger laws which ensure the complete protection against cyber crimes and restriction of complex website access. To conclude, everything has a positive and negative shade. WWW is a boon, if and only if, it is used appropriately. The cyberspace is an amazing technological innovation that has transformed people’s lives, but not without negative impacts. However, with the right action by individuals, it can be made a safe place for everyone.
With the introduction of technology, human life has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
drastically
over the decades. Among this the biggest invention was the W3. The W3
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in the design of various devices, which acted as the working basics of this equipment. Peoples consumption and sharing information have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
radically
over the decades. In this essay, we can discuss the problems aroused
as a result
of this and can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

Firstly
, the internet itself means connecting, which connects the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all around the globe. Sole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vigilant while using the server. The WWW has several loopholes that anyone can hack anybody’s data. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hacking methods which hackers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to fetch this data, and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these for cyber fraud. Using this, scammers can smuggle cash from the account or even can blackmail the concern person. Cyber-bullying is another major problem, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
a person mentally. There is a plethora of suicidal cases reported as an outcome of cyber-attack. Morphing is a method of transforming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
photos
and videos
seamlessly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
photos
and videos, that we upload to the social media are grievous. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
photos
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to harass, stalk and threaten online. The web is a sphere, which can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for the kids. There are chances that children can access
potentially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
sites and perhaps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
mis
leaded in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
For example
, pornography sites.

Through checking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
filling online forms, avoid providing personal information including phone numbers, bank
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, address, are the main precautions one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
security. While uploading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
photos
or videos, solitary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it private
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, nobody can download it. Parents should monitor the children and guide
as well
as supervision them, while using the gadgets with connectivity. Do not save data
as well
as passwords in the system with hyperspaces.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their IT security systems. It
is recommended
to review and update security software on time. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should implement stronger laws which ensure the complete protection against cyber crimes and restriction of complex website access.

To conclude
, everything has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
shade. WWW is a boon, if and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
appropriately
. The cyberspace is an amazing technological innovation that has transformed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts.
However
, with the right action by individuals, it can
be made
a safe place for everyone.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 49 - Question 6Using points and examples from the lecture, explain two disadvantages of living in groups for animals. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
397 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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