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Talk about an instance when you invited friends or relatives for a meal in a restaurant or at home. Please say- Whom and why did you invite? - When and where to did you invite them? - Describe what happened during the meal. v.1

Talk about an instance when you invited friends or relatives for a meal in a restaurant or at home. Please say- Whom and why did you invite? - When and where to did you invite them? - Describe what happened during the meal. v. 1
Even though other means of travelling are well developed, people are increasingly using bicycle. There are several advantages of bicycle as the vehicle used and few minor drawbacks. The use of bicycle as a vehicle as extreme health benefits. When general public or even the leaders use a bicycle for going to the office, it unconsciously results in physical activity which has profound positive effects on health of individuals. For example, leg muscles are excessively used while cycling, which results in stronger muscles and venous return to the heart improves. The healthy individuals can very well concentrate on their jobs resulting in better work efficiency. Another obvious benefit may be the reduction of air pollution as bicycles unlike cars or other modes of transport do not produce greenhouse gases. In todays world when pollution has become a burning global problem, the reduction of burning fossil fuels will play a pivotal role in reducing air pollution. Hence bicycles are environmental friendly. Some of the disadvantages of bicycle may be when offices are at long distances, reaching the office after cycling for hours may result in physical fatigue of employees. Consequently, they may not be able to concentrate on their work resulting in reduced performance. This is especially true for the employees above forty year age group. Moreover, few people have photosensitive skin and they can not afford to be exposed to sunlight while cycling. This exposure may result in cancers of the skin or sunburn. Hence, bicycles cannot be used by all people because of its limitations. In conclusion, use of cycles as a means of transport makes individuals fit and safe for the environment, but there are a few limitations which should be taken care of.
Even though
other means of travelling are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
increasingly
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
. There are several advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
as the vehicle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and few minor drawbacks.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
as a vehicle as extreme health benefits. When
Consider using "public".
general public
or even the leaders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
for going to the office, it
unconsciously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
in physical activity which has profound
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on health of individuals.
For example
, leg muscles are
excessively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
while cycling, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
in stronger muscles and venous return to the heart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
. The healthy individuals can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well concentrate on their jobs resulting in better work efficiency. Another obvious benefit may be the reduction of air pollution as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
unlike cars or other modes of transport do not produce greenhouse gases. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
world when pollution has become a burning global problem, the reduction of burning fossil fuels will play a pivotal role in reducing air pollution.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
are environmental friendly.

If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
may be when offices are at long distances, reaching the office after cycling for hours may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in physical fatigue of employees.
Consequently
, they may not be able to concentrate on their work resulting in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
performance. This is
especially
true for the employees above forty year age group.
Moreover
, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have photosensitive
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
skin and
they can not afford to
be exposed
to sunlight while cycling. This exposure may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in cancers of the skin or sunburn.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its limitations.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cycles as a means of transport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
individuals fit and safe for the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are a few limitations which should
be taken
care of.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Talk about an instance when you invited friends or relatives for a meal in a restaurant or at home. Please say- Whom and why did you invite? - When and where to did you invite them? - Describe what happened during the meal. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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