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TPO 47 - Question 2 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the future, people will read fewer books than they do toady. Use specific examples and details to support your opinion. v.1

TPO 47 - Question 2 In the future, people will read fewer books than they do toady. Use specific examples and details to support your opinion. v. 1
Health care is very important and I agree to a large extent that every country should have a free health service system in this present day, even if it means the latest medical treatments may not be available because of its unbearable expenses. Firstly, the availability of basic primary health care cannot be underestimated in a gathering or region, it is very important and its inadequacy has led to so many lives lost to sickness like Malaria, fever, typhoid and more. In Nigeria, a large percentage of people suffer and maybe die from lack of basic health care service system. It is their legitimate right of the government, to make available quality medical treatment to them at no cost, however, some terminal diseases such as cancer, heart attack and others are more vulnerable and require more in-depth attention and aid thus making it expensive and slightly unbearable. Secondly, it would be extremely difficult for unemployed and aged people to afford medical treatments in the absence of basic free health service systems as they do not have any source of income, thus making them more susceptible to death as a result of the illness. In addition to this, the government is responsible for the wellness of its citizens and should therefore take necessary action to make available the required service system with charging a penny. In conclusion, good health is the primary constituent of peoples lives, therefore the government should fund and support good health service systems with charging its citizens.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
care is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to a large extent that every country should have a free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
in this present day, even if it means the latest medical treatments may not be available
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its unbearable expenses.

Firstly
, the availability of basic primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care cannot
be underestimated
in a gathering or region, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and its inadequacy has led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
lost to sickness like Malaria, fever, typhoid and more. In Nigeria, a large percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffer and maybe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
from lack of basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. It is their legitimate right of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
available quality medical treatment to them at no cost,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
terminal diseases such as cancer, heart attack
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
are more vulnerable and require more in-depth attention and aid
thus
making it expensive and
slightly
unbearable.

Secondly
, it would be
extremely
difficult for unemployed and aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to afford medical treatments in the absence of basic free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
as they do not have any source of income,
thus
making them more susceptible to death
as a result
of the illness.
In addition
to this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is responsible for the wellness of its citizens and should
therefore
take necessary action to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
available the required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
with charging a penny.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is the primary constituent of peoples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
therefore
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should fund and support
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
with charging its citizens.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay TPO 47 - Question 2 In the future, people will read fewer books than they do toady. Use specific examples and details to support your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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