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TPO-42 - Independent Writing TaskWorkers are more satisfied when they have many different types of tasks to do during the workday than when they do similar tasks all day long. v.1

TPO-42 - Independent Writing TaskWorkers are more satisfied when they have many different types of tasks to do during the workday than when they do similar tasks all day long. v. 1
Today, a number of specialists hold the view that international exchange programs are essential for students. I agree with this opinion regardless of its minor problems. On the one hand, student change programs can bring a multitude of benefits to adolescents’ life. One obvious positive side of study abroad programs is that students are provided with the opportunity to experience different styles of education. By enrolling in an international exchange program, they will have a great chance to acquire foreign knowledge. Furthermore, they can witness different cultures and customs and mix with people from a variety of cultural backgrounds which is a worthwhile life experience for them. On top of this, while studying abroad students can immerse themselves in a new language and it is a great opportunity for them to hone their language skills. After finishing their visits, it is highly likely that a number of job prospects will be offered for these graduates. As most employers prefer to hire applicants who have completed their academic degree abroad, they will be potential workers for large organizations. On the other hand, students can encounter some difficulties in a foreign country. First of all, the can experience culture shock since they may struggle with adjusting to a new environment or a different culture. Even, they could become homesick during their visits, because they would miss their home and family. Lastly, these teenagers may find it challenging to do their chores along with to tackle difficult subjects at university. By the way of example, according to a survey, people who were studying abroad reported that they faced great hardship to manage their time effectively for both their lessons and daily housework. To conclude, in my opinion, international exchange visits have several positive effects in students’ life in spite of its some small problems.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, a number of specialists hold the view that international exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion regardless of its minor problems.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
can bring a multitude of benefits to adolescents’ life. One obvious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side of study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are provided
with the opportunity to experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
styles of education. By enrolling in an international exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
, they will have a great chance to acquire foreign knowledge.
Furthermore
, they can witness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and customs and mix with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from a variety of cultural backgrounds which is a worthwhile life experience for them. On top of this, while studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can immerse themselves in a new language and it is a great opportunity for them to hone their language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. After finishing their visits, it is
highly
likely that a number of job prospects will
be offered
for these graduates. As most employers prefer to hire applicants who have completed their academic degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
, they will be potential workers for large organizations.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties in a foreign country.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the can experience culture shock since they may struggle with adjusting to a new environment or a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture. Even, they could become homesick during their visits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they would miss their home and family.
Lastly
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
may find it challenging to do their chores along with to tackle difficult subjects at university. By the way of example, according to a survey,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who were studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
reported that they faced great hardship to manage their time
effectively
for both their lessons and daily housework.

To conclude
, in my opinion, international exchange visits have several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
problems.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO-42 - Independent Writing TaskWorkers are more satisfied when they have many different types of tasks to do during the workday than when they do similar tasks all day long. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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