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TPO 4 _ Independent TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than today. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

TPO 4 _ Independent Task In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than today. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Some people claim that there will be fewer cars in the streets after twenty years from now. I am of the opinion that transportation by personal vehicles plays a significant role in the future of the humans. Should people realize the importance of personal vehicles in their own welfare, they will ponder over it much more scrupulously. In the following paragraphs I will delve into the most important reasons to illustrate my viewpoint. To begin with, it is axiomatic that during the past decades, much more people afforded to by a personal vehicle. In other words, in 1950s there were a few personal cars which were owned by some very rich families in the cities. But with the beginning of the twenty first century, even regular families could afford to buy a personal car. So as the statistics show during the past decades, the number of sold cars has always increased. Thus, I think the same thing will continue for the next two decades. The second rationale why I advocate this point of view, lies in the fact that population of the world is increasing. That is to say, although population growth is low in the western countries, but in the developing countries have a high rate of birth which would continue for the new twenty year. This increase would result in more demand for new cars. For example in my country, which is a developing country with a very young population, the number of sold cars has increased during the last 5 years which is because of the increasing population, as experts say. Therefore, on no account can underrate the efficacy of population growth with regards to increasing cars on the streets. The last but not the least reason supporting my perspective would be the indisputable fact that big car companies would never let this happen. It cannot be denied that these companies would use their money and power to avoid this reduction. Consider big companies like Benz and BMW which would use their advertising tools to attract much more customers. As a result, this reduction is a hard thing to happen till big international companies are unwilling to allow it to happen. By taking all above-mentioned arguments into consideration, the following conclusion can be drawn about the issue. I strongly believe that a reduction in the number of cars on the streets will not happen during the next two decades. This is because more people will afford to buy a new car, the world’s population will increase and big companies would not let it happen.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that there will be fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in the streets after twenty years from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. I am of the opinion that transportation by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
vehicles plays a significant role in the future of the humans. Should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
realize the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
vehicles in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
welfare, they will ponder over it much more
scrupulously
. In the following paragraphs I will delve into the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons to illustrate my viewpoint.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is axiomatic that during the past decades, much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
afforded to by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
vehicle.
In other words
,
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1950s".
in 1950s
there were a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
which were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rich families in the cities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with the beginning of the twenty
first
century, even regular families could afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
as the statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
during the past decades, the number of sold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
has always increased.
Thus
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the same thing will continue for the
next
two decades.

The second rationale why I advocate this point of view, lies in the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the world is increasing.
That is
to say, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth is low in the western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have a high rate of birth which would continue for the new twenty year. This increase would result in more demand for new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
For example
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, which is a developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, the number of sold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
has increased during the last 5 years which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, as experts say.
Therefore
, on no account can underrate the efficacy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the streets.

The last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least reason supporting my perspective would be the indisputable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
would never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
. It cannot
be denied
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their money and power to avoid this reduction. Consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
like Benz and BMW which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their advertising tools to attract much more customers.
As a result
, this reduction is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
thing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
till
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are unwilling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
it to happen.

By taking all above-mentioned arguments into consideration, the following conclusion can
be drawn
about the issue. I
strongly
believe that a reduction in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the streets will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
during the
next
two decades. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, the world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
will increase and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 4 _ Independent Task In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than today. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
427 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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