Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In twenty years, there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.316

In twenty years, there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 316
People are having more difficulties in presenting themselves in front of the public. So that can be conquered, by providing essential training in the initial school days. It is absolutely important to speak well with the public and I strongly agree to it. Below are the few points supporting the arguments in this essay. Firstly, there are a huge number of people who are not having enough confidence to talk in the public forum. This is due to the fact that their weaknesses have not been identified since childhood and they are grown up in the same way. If it will be determined during school days, proper training would have been given and their skills might have been developed for the better. These pupils might have good grammatical skills, but are reluctant to open up due to stage fear. The fear factor has to be addressed and should be motivated by training programmes. Basically for any person, the learning commences from schooling and will be enhanced over the years. Therefore, it is mandatory to teach the public presentation skills since childhood, which is the sole responsibility of the schools. Secondly, students after undertaking these courses from school will be bold and unique on their own. These interpersonal skills will be managed by themselves after joining Universities and the job. From that point, developing their career path would be simple for them. For instance, one of my friends was having a tough time in her career as it was the first job and could not interact with our colleagues due to lack of communication skills. That misled her to depression and anxiety and was unable to concentrate on work. After counselling, she was able to cope up with the work and it took a significant amount of time to recover. Many students must have faced the similar situation, so why do we not work on it from the basics. Hence, its highly important to train the students from early days. To sum up, I fully agree that the schools should emphasize the necessity of the communication skills, which benefits the students extremely throughout their life. The training courses from school will build their communication and gives confidence. The above arguments supports that few people are finding it difficult to speak up in the public and thus start the training from the school.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are having more difficulties in presenting themselves in front of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that can
be conquered
, by providing essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
in the initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
days. It is
absolutely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to speak well with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to it. Below are the few points supporting the arguments in this essay.

Firstly
, there are a huge number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are not having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
confidence to talk in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
forum.
This is due to the fact that
their weaknesses have not
been identified
since
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
childhood and
they
are grown
up
in the same way
. If it will
be determined
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
days, proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
would have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
might have
been developed
for the better. These pupils might have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grammatical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are reluctant to open up due to stage fear. The fear factor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be addressed
and should
be motivated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.
Basically
for any person, the learning commences from schooling and will
be enhanced
over the years.
Therefore
, it is mandatory to teach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
presentation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
since childhood, which is the sole responsibility of the schools.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
after undertaking these courses from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will be bold and unique on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. These interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
will
be managed
by themselves after joining Universities and the job. From that point, developing their career path would be simple for them.
For instance
, one of my friends was having a tough time in her career as it was the
first
job and could not interact with our colleagues due to lack of communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. That misled her to depression and anxiety and was unable to concentrate on work. After counselling, she was able to cope up with the work and it took a significant amount of time to recover.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have faced the similar situation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
why do we not work on it from the basics.
Hence
,
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
highly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to train the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from early days.

To sum up, I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should emphasize the necessity of the communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, which benefits the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
extremely
throughout their life. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
courses from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will build their communication and gives confidence. The above arguments supports that few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are finding it difficult to speak up in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay In twenty years, there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 316

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
391 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts