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tpo 39Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past it was easier to identify what type of career or job would lead to a secure, successful future. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

tpo 39 In the past it was easier to identify what type of career or job would lead to a secure, successful future. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
With the development of technology and a wide variety of opportunity work in present days which people can never imagine in past. In the past however it is not easier to identify the diverse career or job for the individual. Some people think that in the past people can easily obtain a secure and successful life but present days it is not possible. Not surprisingly, the number of controversies over this issue is overwhelmed. Among this controversy, I prefer the first one which I elaborate followings. First and foremost, technological and industrial advancement invent various job field like software developer, structural engineer and computer engineer etc. But, it is also true that to adapt to this job people required more motivation, knowledge and skill. To secure their future they diligently trying to achieve it. But, in the past, there are only a few types of job such as agricultural, administration, industrial job etc. People can easily choose this field without hesitation and can secure their life. But, for various kind of job, it is often difficult for people to choose the right path. Moreover, there is also ups and downs of those fields which people is not possible to predict and always depends on the market situation. For particular, when I entered into the college I chose electrical because that time communication field was newly immense and anyone can easily can security to life. But, after completing my graduation I observed that the demand of the field is declined and the market filled with other jobs. Thus, it is difficult for the present days to identify the right path. Furthermore, in the past, people' s expectation was limited and they lead a happy life with this limitation. But, now people' s lifestyle is changed and more expensive. For instance, my father was a school teacher and with his limited salary, he raised all the four children. Moreover, he has just completed his higher secondary and got a chance to teach the student. But, in present days to enter as a teacher in the school at least requires to complete undergraduate. Moreover, sometimes it is also difficult for a government job. Besides, life is so expensive now that with this teaching salary almost impossible to raise a child. But, in the previous teaching was a decent job and my father easily raised all children which may not think in present days. To recapitulate, in my personal opinion I think more diverse the field more difficult to secure the career. In present days, the job market is so uncertain that people always feel pressure and stress to secure the job.
With the development of technology and a wide variety of opportunity work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
days which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can never imagine in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
however
it is not easier to identify the diverse career or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for the individual.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
obtain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
and successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
days it is not possible. Not
surprisingly
, the number of controversies over this issue
is overwhelmed
. Among this controversy, I prefer the
first
one which I elaborate followings.

First
and foremost, technological and industrial advancement invent various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
like software developer, structural engineer and computer engineer etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it is
also
true that to adapt to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
required more motivation, knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
their future they
diligently
trying to achieve it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
such as agricultural, administration, industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
etc.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
choose this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
without hesitation and can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, for various kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose the right path.
Moreover
, there is
also
ups and downs of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
not possible to predict and always depends on the market situation. For particular, when I entered into the college I chose electrical
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that time communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
was
newly
immense and anyone can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
can security to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, after completing my graduation I observed that the demand of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
is declined
and the market filled with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Thus
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
days to identify the right path.

Furthermore
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s expectation was
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
limited and
they lead a happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with this limitation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s lifestyle is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and more expensive.
For instance
, my father was a school teacher and with his limited salary, he raised all the four children.
Moreover
, he has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
completed his higher secondary and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a chance to teach the student.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
days to enter as a teacher in the school at least requires
Did you mean "completing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to complete
undergraduate.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
expensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
that with this teaching salary almost impossible to raise a child.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in the previous teaching was a decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and my father
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
raised all children which may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
days.

To recapitulate, in my personal opinion I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
more diverse the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
the career. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
days, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
uncertain that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always feel pressure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
56Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay tpo 39 In the past it was easier to identify what type of career or job would lead to a secure, successful future. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
438 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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