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TPO 39 - Independent taskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past it was easier to identify what type of career or job would lead to a secure, successful future. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

TPO 39 - Independent task In the past it was easier to identify what type of career or job would lead to a secure, successful future. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
It is very crucial to know if you are going to successid in your future job or not, because you are going to spend many of valuable years of your age to work and explore a specific job, so you have to know what type of job fits you. some people think that in past, it was easier to identify what type of job would secure your future success. In my point of view, people are able to be familier with jobs better nowdays than past for few reasons. First, internet has made a massive data source for us. People can simply search about a particular job on internet and download many information about the job, while people in past did not have access to internet. For example, if you would like to know what skills a computer expert should have or how much salary you recieve, with one click you can search it on google, even obtain answeres of questions that you did not ask. Second, people that have experience in a job can be found everywhere. due to increase of population, most of jobs have been tried out by some people, so you can always find someone that has experince in your intended field, while people in past lived in small groups, and most of them had experience in small number of fields of work. Finally, people are educating in universities to become proffesional in jobs that current world needs. Thanks to school and universities, people can study different subjects to indicate their favourite field of study based on their majors before choosing a career, while people in past did not study academically, so their choice was more based on luck rather than wisdom or knowledge. Basically, I think people are able to identify their future job easier because internet is always online to answer our questions and education system is there to teach us about future outcomes and due to large number of people you can always ask someone that is experienced more tha you.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial to know if you are going to
Possible spelling mistake found.
successid
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or not,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you are going to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of valuable years of your age to work and explore a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
know what type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
fits you.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, it was easier to identify what type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
would secure your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
success. In my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
familier
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
better
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowdays
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
for few reasons.

First
, internet has made a massive data source for us.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
simply
search about a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
on internet and download
Possible agreement error. The noun information seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much information", "a good deal of information".
many information
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
did not have access to internet.
For example
, if you would like to know what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
a computer expert should have or how much salary you
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieve
, with one click you can search it on google, even obtain
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "answers", the plural form of the noun 'answer'?
answeres
of questions that you did not ask.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that have experience in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
can
be found
everywhere.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
due
to increase of population, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
have
been tried
out by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you can always find someone that has
Possible spelling mistake found.
experince
in your intended field, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
groups, and most of them had experience in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of fields of work.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are educating in universities to become
Possible spelling mistake found.
proffesional
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world needs. Thanks to school and universities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects to indicate their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
field of study based on their majors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
choosing a career, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
did not study
academically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their choice was more based on luck
rather
than wisdom or knowledge.

Basically
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to identify their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
easier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
internet is always online to answer our questions and education system is there to teach us about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
outcomes and due to large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
you can always ask someone that
is experienced
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
tha
you.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 39 - Independent task In the past it was easier to identify what type of career or job would lead to a secure, successful future. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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