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Essay topics: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past it was easier to identify what type of career or job would lead to a secure, successful future. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.8

Essay topics: In the past it was easier to identify what type of career or job would lead to a secure, successful future. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 8
In order to receive offers to study at the University, students must meet entry requirements and pay tuition fees. These conditions are universal for all, which means that those from underprivileged backgrounds face more difficulties to obtain higher education. I fully agree that the government should introduce some special arrangements to enable more of these students to study in university. Children who live in remote areas, or whose parents cannot pay for private secondary education, typically attend the schools where teachers are not as strong as those in private schools. As a result, those children achieve lower grades in their final school exams and have fewer chances to be offered places at universities. However, these grades reflect not only their merits, but also the weakness of the educational system and this should be taken into consideration. For that reason, universities should have lower entry requirements for such young people to give them an equal chance. Furthermore, in rural areas, average household income is typically significantly lower than it is in cities. This means that people from those areas can often find it hard to pay tuition fees, which are same for everyone. For example, in the UK, the average income in London is almost twice as high as in Wales, yet students from small villages and those from London are all required to pay 9000 pounds per year. Without any doubt, the government and universities should introduce more scholarships and discounts for students from families with low income. To conclude, I agree that the government and universities should gather introduce low entry requirement and more scholarships for rural area's students in order to give them an equal change to acquire a university education.
In order to receive offers to study at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
entry requirements and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
tuition fees. These conditions are universal for all, which means that those from underprivileged backgrounds face more difficulties to obtain higher education. I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should introduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special arrangements to enable more of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to study in university.

Children who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in remote areas, or whose parents cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for private secondary education,
typically
attend the schools where teachers are not as strong as those in private schools.
As a result
, those children achieve lower grades in their final school exams and have fewer chances to
be offered
places at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
However
, these grades reflect not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their merits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the weakness of the educational system and this should
be taken
into consideration. For that reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should have lower entry requirements for such young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to give them an equal chance.

Furthermore
, in rural areas, average household income is
typically
significantly
lower than it is in cities. This means that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from those areas can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
tuition fees, which are same for everyone.
For example
, in the UK, the average income in London is almost twice as high as in Wales,
yet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
villages and those from London are all required to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
9000 pounds
per year. Without any doubt, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should introduce more scholarships and discounts for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from families with low income.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should gather introduce low entry requirement and more scholarships for rural area's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in order to give them an equal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to acquire a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Essay topics: In the past it was easier to identify what type of career or job would lead to a secure, successful future. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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